Day 364
This morning I went to breakfast. There are many days when I just sleep and miss out but I am ever so happy today wasn't one of those days. Nope, today was different. Today was exciting. Today at breakfast the main topics of conversation were male urethras and foreskins. I sat next to my favorite person in my residence hall today. He is some sort of med student who will probably make tons of money as a specialized surgeon one day. He told me stories, without me even asking, about how there was a guy on some sort of drug whose friends glued his urethra shut and he couldn't pee. He also told me about the guy who was bending over while doing the laundry and somehow ripped his foreskin. When the guy had gone into the emergency room the guy was all joke-y. He even said, "I've seen Scrubs, I know you are so going to go and tell this to all your friends." Umm, hell yeah! From now on I am going to start hanging around doctors, they are much more entertaining than writers and have better stories.
This morning I remembered why my best friend is my best friend. Not only did he listen to me bitch about why my thesis sucks, he had the perfect answer that didn't make me feel like a whiny bitch bag. He said, "Or, you could look at it in a different way like, if there is a new show on Fox that has the same characters as yours then you are doing good. You are in the right vein as stuff that is getting produced and put on the air." Then, when I said I didn't know what to do with what I had then he said, "Just change the genders around." A couple hours later he called back and told me exactly how I could start working on my other series idea, complete with possible character descriptions and set-ups that totally made sense and inspired me. And to think I met him in some coffeeshop years ago and he walked me home that night singing Peaches. How could I not have seen right away that he was BFF material?
John Waters once said that being rich is the state when you can go to the bookstore and take home whatever you want. As I remember the Jodie Sweetin memoir I had to put back I was reminded that I am not rich. When I bought a book about writing comedy I thought about how my mother said that she doesn't see me writing comedy and then I had to remember that I wasn't funny. And finally, when I checked out and let the smooth-talking clerk talk me into getting a 25 dollar membership I had to realize that I am still a sucker. And somehow, none of that matters because after I got out of the store I looked into the plastic bag and I remembered the sickly-sweet, addictive dork joy I get when I have new books.
Finally, the word uber has been replaced (yeah fuck you, I am not putting the umlaut symbol it's too mainstream now). The word that has replaced it is, epic. At first I thought this word to be acceptable. But, it has become yet another boring 4-letter word. Why can't we have words longer than four letters like, "fantastical?" Or maybe something short like just, "Wow?" One of these days I am going to think of a buzzword to say that is uberly epic. Frick.
Tonight I got a message from a friend of mine who sent me a link to the comics I mentioned in yesterday's blog. This was both thoughtful and terrifying. It's nice when people can connect and share things but it's terrifying that people actually read this blog. I love my reader(s?!) but seriously, there must be something better to do with your time like crocheting, mastering a pottery wheel, wondering what toe jam is made out of exactly, wondering what the hell you were supposed to do with Gak as a child, staring at walls to see if it turns you psychotic, watching infomercials or creeping the people in the self help section of your local bookstore. But, if not, I am here for you. Well, I am here when I am not creeping the self help people.
Tip of the Day: Read Fart Party comix, all the time.
-Canadian Castaway
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