Odds and Odds and No Ends...

Day 366

I am super tired so here is a brief list of the happenings, observations and inquiries of the day:

How weird are contacts commercials? I mean can you imagine being on the casting couch where your eyes are judged beautiful enough or most likely, not beautiful enough to make it into the commercial that they probably digitally enhance anyhow.

So after I got home from work tonight I checked my Facebook page to find that I only had 2 notifications. And, I genuinely felt like a loser. It was like in the summertime when I was a 13 year old I would keep track of how many people called me each day. I guess we never really change.

How the hell is Blitzkrieg Bop only number 25 on the 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs? I was so distressed that one of my personal anthems was in such a low-ranking spot I almost turned the show off...almost.

Today I went to get a key that will allow me access into several rooms in my department. While at the key office I noticed that they had a huge amount of plastic things to attach to your keys so that they are easier to identify I took a whole bunch of them. When I got to the pub I declared, "Do you want to see why I am employee of the month?" and slammed all of them on the bar. "Here, so we can put them on our million keys to identify what doors they go to." Sadly, no one took my picture to put on the wall and scrawl, "Employee of the Month." Perhaps they are just waiting until tomorrow in an effort to surprise me and give them time to order a cake with, "Emily is the Best!!!!!" and a unicorn on it.

The pub I work at has been without liquor for over a hundred days due to a few issues with serving minors. Now that we have re-opened we are extra vigilant about checking IDs. What is surprising to me is that not only do people act like I am attacking them when I ask for their ID, many of them freak out when I cannot take their student card as a verification piece of ID even though we never have taken them as a secondary piece and even worse, many people don't have ID on them at all and look shocked when I tell them to leave. Seriously, I wish there was a sign I could hold up that read, "You are already stupid and drinking isn't going to make you any smarter. Get the hell out of here and go hang out at the library and read until you aren't an idiot."

I just saw a commercial that is about a lawyer who is seeking motorcyclists who have been hit by cars as clients. During the normal lawyer-speaking-about-his-services voice over the camera follows a motorcyclist popping a wheelie on the freeway. At the end of his speech the wheelie popping cyclist wheelies up to the law office, takes off the helmet and reveals the two-bit lawyer type after he pulls off a helmet. To really drive home how much he knows about he says that he too has been a biker hit by a car himself. Well, duh, if you are gonna pop wheelies on a freeway... But what I wonder if it was him that came up with the idea to hire a stunt driver to make his commercial look allegedly badass.

I am supposedly going out on Saturday with a guy in my building who had 22 boxes of shit sent over here from his home country and answered his door (when he knew I was coming over) in a nightdress a la Scrooge. Today I went around bitching about it and asking people what I should do and pretty much treating the whole thing like a wacky joke. But now I am wondering if I should feel bad about it. Damn fricking conscience. I think the Canadian-ness around me is seeping through.

Tip of the Day: Don't eat more than 4 liquorice bits from Italy in a row.

-Canadian Castaway