Day 344
I would like to dedicate this blog entry to the guys at Mythbusters whose picking out of earwax to make a candle was so disgusting that I gagged and actually turned off my television. Here are a few waxed-up nuggets of my mediocre day:
-At breakfast I got there just in time for them to run out of crappy sausages. And, because for some fucking reason, today was a no egg day, I had to go without eggs AND meat. Then I realized that in the past six months I have went from devout vegetarian to violent meat-aholic. When the vegetarian at the table went on a rant about how I should not eat meat anymore I wondered what his arm would taste like with BBQ sauce.
-I read a teleplay (old school for TV script). My advisor has given me two scripts from her collection of random peoples scripts to check out. While I was reading the script I was pretty impressed with the quality of writing and yet I thought to myself, 'It's good, but it's not good enough to get produced. You need to write slightly better to make it onto TV.' When I was done reading it I IMDBed the author of the script, turns out that the script was turned into a series on a prime time network. So, I went and bought the first (and so far only) season on Itunes and I have no idea why.
-Yesterday a few fellow residents of my building and I were discussing what everyones spirit animals were. Mine was a howler monkey. The guy next to me looked at me and I screamed, "Sloth!" And, he totally was a sloth. I have never ever seen someone who looked more like a sloth and I have actually dated a guy whose nickname was "Sloth." I mean shit, my mother pretended to be a sloth on a regular basis while I was growing up. But after my friends and I agreed that he was a sloth he said, "What is a sloth?" I told my friend at the table that when he looked it up online we would get an earful. And today I did get an earful about how they were odd-looking creatures and, "Is that what I look like to you?!" When my friend showed up, the one whom I had made my prediction to I told him that I had received an earful, his response..."Well, there is really nothing he can do about it. He totally is a sloth."
-Okay, so I am not going to lie: I hate Facebook chat. So many of the friends I want to talk to are on there but there is always a few that message me constantly when I am just about to do something else. And, when I tell them later that I am sorry for not replying (which, I am not really because I don't think you should HAVE to reply to everything) they say they don't forgive me. Well, I don't forgive you either sometimes. I mean, fuck, how selfish can you get? Okay, so maybe I AM wanting them to do what I want by going along with my idea of acceptable chatting expectations of conduct but still, you don't know if I have just fallen off my bike, yelled at the guy I like, and am busy online trying to see what the hell is wrong with my best friend's mother so I am console her. Just back the fuck off before I remember how to unfriend you.
-There is something that I will never understand about Canadians. Why the fuck do they always throw in a little French when they are trying to impress me? Seriously, I know I do not ever reveal my location in this blog (I am a paranoid freak who is too cowardly yet to be who I really am online) nevertheless, I reside pretty effing far from Quebec. Am I supposed to be impressed that in a country where everything is in English and French that its inhabitants know a little French? As in a little, as in, not enough to make it the everyday spoken language in these parts. Damnit, that makes my ridiculously patriotic blood race.
Tip of the Day: Go wash your nasty parts and while you're at it clean out your ears.
-Canadian Castaway
No comments:
Post a Comment