Day 347
The following is a list of why I didn't accomplish anything of significance today:
6. There was a Gene Simmons Family Jewels marathon on TV when I was eating breakfast. I didn't know it would last past 3 pm. And, I have vowed to not be a quitter. Plus, Nick is hot and I just had to see Gene's face after the plastic surgery! Damn, who knew I'd have to come all the way the way to Canada to be the girl who wastes her day watching celebrity reality TV shows. Oh well, at least it wasn't an Intervention marathon or I'd be both a loser AND super depressed.
5. I tried to get my act together after 4.5 hours with the Simmons family. I called my mother and told her to yell at me to be productive. She did, with glee. She always says, "Put the pencil to the page!" Which is funny for so many reasons. Anyway, in an effort to get going I headed out of the house to procure a late lunch and possibly some wine. Turns out the drizzle outside was the type that lasts all day and coats you when you walk to the point of an umbrella really just being a way to pick out the fools easily. (I was one of them) So, I cursed the weather for making me not do anything besides watch TV.
4. I can't help that I bought the new John Waters book, it should really be a requirement for every American misfit to worship him. I am just doing my civic duty to promote and be a part of freak culture. And, can I really help it if I am addicted to how he is addicted to observing and writing about the bar subculture of Baltimore where at one time there were interesting strippers roaming around like Lady Zorro and guys who bit each others noses off. Besides Mr. Waters is getting on in age now and who knows if he'll ever write another book. Although if there were ever a person on this planet who had the potential to be immortal and ridiculously productive at the same time it would be him.
3. So, while I was probably surfing Facebook and avoiding writing I noticed that a routine scan had been performed on my computer and that there were 6 infections only 4 of which had been treated. According to AVG my boyfriend (my computer, I am a sad sack) had two viruses and they didn't even have pretty names like chlamydia. I panicked and called people I know who are good at computer stuff and hollered at them for help. (Note: This approach is horribly rude and doesn't work well and makes people you love feel like they are just your playthings. Don't do it. EVER.) Finally, I got my neighbor to come down and she helped me install more software and catch another virus and find that the two viruses I had caught in the first place were what the tech-ies call, "false positive" identifications. If it wasn't for my neighbor I would've bought a Mac today just to spite my computer for getting viruses with long, ugly boring names even if they were false positive.
2. And then there was LA Ink. I really don't give a shit about that show and don't even have any tattoos myself. It must have something to do with the fact that I knew that most of my day had already been wasted. Again, I am not a quitter and once I start being lazy... But, when the marathon of episodes repeated an episode I really (no matter what kind of day I was having) should've known better.
1.The number one reason I wasted my day though was really just because I am a lazy bastard sometimes. My advisor in the Creative Writing Department is always saying, "You have to trust the process." Once, just once, I wish she'd say, "And sometimes that means doing absolutely nothing but watching shit TV all day and eating pretzels."
Tip of the Day: If you are lazy make sure you either have a soft, comfortable chair or a horribly hard one.
-Canadian Castaway
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