Day 428ish
So here are a few things that happened this week (mostly tonight):
I hosted a Dead Writer party. Apparently, this meant that I was obligated to drink vodka straight from the bottle in a bathroom stall with Walt Disney, Allen Ginsberg, Hunter S. Thompson and William Faulkner.
I went to Michael's craft store. It was disappointing due to the fact that over half of the store was devoted to scrapbooking.
I am working on a Family Guy spec script. I am not sure if it's funny but I am laughing my ass off writing it.
Yesterday a guy who looks like Hermey from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer remembered my name after only meeting me briefly, once, and I was so touched. Did I mention he does improv? I can't tell if I am attracted to him due to the fact that he looks like Hermey, or, that he plays a ridiculously spot-on hilarious old man character or that he is just a nice-seeming fella.
I got to work this evening only to discover that the place was brimming with fake smoke. It was rolling out the door and had the gorgeous security man not been waving me in I probably wouldn't have gone at all. But, even though I did go in I verbally quit the pub job tonight at least 6 times.
So, at the party I threw for the Student Association earlier this week (Dead Writer) most people were very helpful and had a good time. Most people that is except an alleged "friend" of mine who was bitchy the whole time and even came up to me at one point to tell me that he wasn't having fun despite the fact that I made it very clear that I had huge anxiety about pulling the party off. Note: I am getting tons of comments from everyone (but him) about how I threw the best party of the year. Anyway, I have been distancing myself from him and then today received a text that read, "p.s. Is Emily mad at me? She has been very distant and cold with me." Turns out he sent a text about me to me by accident. Idiot. At least I got a few laughs out of it.
Tonight I went to work to discover that the super annoying frat boy I work with is terrified of women's bodily functions so whenever he was annoying me I would turn to him and say, "I am menstruating right next to you."
Also today the cutesy Italian man who works at the pub came dressed in chaps...in honor of Halloween of course, or maybe this is his new look? Anyway, at the end of the night he came up to me, turned around and asked me to help him take them off. Pretty sad that that is the most action I've gotten in a long time. Did I mention I couldn't get them off?
On the walk home from the pub tonight I listened to my voicemail on my American phone to find that a friend of mine who I once made out with had called. I called him back and he didn't remember calling despite it only having been last night that he called. Anyway, we chatted for a bit and then he made sure to tell me to look him up next time I was in town because he's single again.
Alright, it's almost 3 am and I am getting on in years so I must go to bed. Until next week.
Tip of the Day: Deal with it!
-Canadian Castaway
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Day 421
So, I haven't blogged about my daily adventures for a solid week. Much has happened but lets stick to just today. Here's an overview:
-This morning I went to the bank and cashed in some American money only to find out that once again it is worth less than Canadian money.
-I went to the office supply store. While there I was encountered with bad news: they no longer have the ink for my printer but, there was good news as well: absolutely none of the employees hounded me to see if I needed help.
-I came home and made some notes on my Family Guy spec script and while I was writing I took a break to see that my friend posted on my Facebook wall. The post was for a drag queen garage sale to benefit charity. And, then I went into what is now called a, "CODE SPARKLE" status.
-I caught the first bus on the way to the sale and had to ride it like a rodeo clown as the bus drivers look nice in this city but secretly love torturing their passengers with jaunty stops and starts, especially if there are tons of people standing.
-My friends and I went to the drag sale only to find that it was basically two tables in a corner of a seedy bar and it was two bucks to get in. We paid the two bucks and got to see sequins, a pair of floral-patterned worn out shoes, and a complete outfit, including wig, that looked like a Janet Reno set. We left without so much as a gaudy handbag to show for it.
-After that we went to the gay diner and got waited on by a horribly mean-looking but ridiculously nice old lesbian who could probably kick anyone's ass and most likely could make a necklace out of all the people's teeth she's knocked out in her life. I liked her so much that I didn't even bother reporting to her that there was a hair in my salad.
-One of my dreams came true...I watched Frankenhooker, again. And this time was also with a gay man who appreciated it. One day I will watch this movie with a non-gay man who also appreciates it and then I will question his sexuality and then I will marry that man.
-I waited in the rain to catch a bus where of course the only person with this years version of the swine flu sat behind me sneezing and hacking.
-When I got home I finished off a giant bag of popcorn and went to the theatre to see a Euripides play called, Hecuba. Let me summarize this version of Hecuba: Lots of people dressed in black and swaying their hips speaking in unison and in a foreign language whenever the fuck they felt like it. Basically, Hecuba (former queen of Troy now a slave) has all of her children die, goes nuts with grief and then enacts her revenge by killing the children of a dude and having her fellow Trojan women blind the dude. For the big finish someone predicts that Hecuba's last living child will die. The end.
-My favorite part of Hecuba was when the Asian kid with the HORRIBLE haircut started to play differently shaped recorders. Though the tone of the play was tragic he was a comic relief and EVERY TIME he played I giggled.
So, that was my day (well, minus beard shopping, ice cream fetching, hitting on a movie store dude, and waiting in the rain) now, I am doing what I do best: watch Family Guy and Absolutely Fabulous and wish I had a snack or at least something to mix my booze with.
So, until next time...whenever the hell that may be.
Tip of the Day: The pita sandwich joint is open before noon.
-Canadian Castaway
So, I haven't blogged about my daily adventures for a solid week. Much has happened but lets stick to just today. Here's an overview:
-This morning I went to the bank and cashed in some American money only to find out that once again it is worth less than Canadian money.
-I went to the office supply store. While there I was encountered with bad news: they no longer have the ink for my printer but, there was good news as well: absolutely none of the employees hounded me to see if I needed help.
-I came home and made some notes on my Family Guy spec script and while I was writing I took a break to see that my friend posted on my Facebook wall. The post was for a drag queen garage sale to benefit charity. And, then I went into what is now called a, "CODE SPARKLE" status.
-I caught the first bus on the way to the sale and had to ride it like a rodeo clown as the bus drivers look nice in this city but secretly love torturing their passengers with jaunty stops and starts, especially if there are tons of people standing.
-My friends and I went to the drag sale only to find that it was basically two tables in a corner of a seedy bar and it was two bucks to get in. We paid the two bucks and got to see sequins, a pair of floral-patterned worn out shoes, and a complete outfit, including wig, that looked like a Janet Reno set. We left without so much as a gaudy handbag to show for it.
-After that we went to the gay diner and got waited on by a horribly mean-looking but ridiculously nice old lesbian who could probably kick anyone's ass and most likely could make a necklace out of all the people's teeth she's knocked out in her life. I liked her so much that I didn't even bother reporting to her that there was a hair in my salad.
-One of my dreams came true...I watched Frankenhooker, again. And this time was also with a gay man who appreciated it. One day I will watch this movie with a non-gay man who also appreciates it and then I will question his sexuality and then I will marry that man.
-I waited in the rain to catch a bus where of course the only person with this years version of the swine flu sat behind me sneezing and hacking.
-When I got home I finished off a giant bag of popcorn and went to the theatre to see a Euripides play called, Hecuba. Let me summarize this version of Hecuba: Lots of people dressed in black and swaying their hips speaking in unison and in a foreign language whenever the fuck they felt like it. Basically, Hecuba (former queen of Troy now a slave) has all of her children die, goes nuts with grief and then enacts her revenge by killing the children of a dude and having her fellow Trojan women blind the dude. For the big finish someone predicts that Hecuba's last living child will die. The end.
-My favorite part of Hecuba was when the Asian kid with the HORRIBLE haircut started to play differently shaped recorders. Though the tone of the play was tragic he was a comic relief and EVERY TIME he played I giggled.
So, that was my day (well, minus beard shopping, ice cream fetching, hitting on a movie store dude, and waiting in the rain) now, I am doing what I do best: watch Family Guy and Absolutely Fabulous and wish I had a snack or at least something to mix my booze with.
So, until next time...whenever the hell that may be.
Tip of the Day: The pita sandwich joint is open before noon.
-Canadian Castaway
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Day 414
Pretty sure I am watching a show where there is a man addicted to cheeseburgers and before that there was an episode with a woman who drinks at least a 24 pack of Coke a day. It is amazing that I EVER leave the house.
This morning I woke up and started texting my co-worker from bed to see if she would cover a shift for me. During the text I got a call from my manager who asked if I could go into work right away and help out with a function as they were super short-staffed, if I were to go she promised to cover my shift. So, I waddled over to work, and found out that the function meant, a whole room filled with conservatives having a rally. Turns out that the conservatives in the this country are the same as the conservatives in my country: white, old, and upper-class. Which is why when I was standing on the other side of the bar and I looked up during a silence and said, "What the hell? Did they all die at the same time?" I didn't feel bad that one of the conservatives heard me.
Other than that I basically watched TV and ate turkey pepperoni this evening and watched an infomercial for HipHop Abs. I am trying to keep my standards low today so that I can really bust it out tomorrow and get stuff done and it will be that much sweeter...or I am just trying to justify doing nothing but waiting on rich people all day and eating meat bi-product in front of the television.
Tip of the Day: Do.
-Canadian Castaway
Pretty sure I am watching a show where there is a man addicted to cheeseburgers and before that there was an episode with a woman who drinks at least a 24 pack of Coke a day. It is amazing that I EVER leave the house.
This morning I woke up and started texting my co-worker from bed to see if she would cover a shift for me. During the text I got a call from my manager who asked if I could go into work right away and help out with a function as they were super short-staffed, if I were to go she promised to cover my shift. So, I waddled over to work, and found out that the function meant, a whole room filled with conservatives having a rally. Turns out that the conservatives in the this country are the same as the conservatives in my country: white, old, and upper-class. Which is why when I was standing on the other side of the bar and I looked up during a silence and said, "What the hell? Did they all die at the same time?" I didn't feel bad that one of the conservatives heard me.
Other than that I basically watched TV and ate turkey pepperoni this evening and watched an infomercial for HipHop Abs. I am trying to keep my standards low today so that I can really bust it out tomorrow and get stuff done and it will be that much sweeter...or I am just trying to justify doing nothing but waiting on rich people all day and eating meat bi-product in front of the television.
Tip of the Day: Do.
-Canadian Castaway
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Day 412
Today was spent somehow, I am not sure how but here are the bits I can remember of it:
This morning I took the bus to a bookstore. On the bus was a couple they were a bit older and they were both laughing for most of the bus ride. The man's face was so smiley that it made me smile and laugh to myself. Then, after him and his wife stopped talking his face stayed like that and it became sort of creepy.
I got a package in the mail today from a friend back home. In the package was nail polish, lipstick, eyeball-shaped gum, a glass ring, two tea bags and 17 pads of sticky notes. I am not sure where the humor of that situation lies but it must be in there somewhere.
Today I went to pick up a gift certificate at a bookshop my friend works at. While waiting for my friend the look-up-peoples-nostrils-all-day type of short woman flitted around and handed me books and gave me oral book reports including plot details. The woman was a walking spoiler alert! I would've found this fascinating had the woman and myself shared similar tastes in books. After she went on and on about some high-brow French literature (Hey, fuck you, I read literature occasionally, I love Flaubert and Maupassant) I said to the woman, "I really just want to read Sarah Silverman's book called, Bedwetter."
I picked up my very hungover friend and we stopped to get her a sandwich and a Powerade. Turns out that some asswipe at Powerade has designed a cellophane wrapper that is impossible to get off and even if you do by some miracle get it off, there is also a seal to deal with. I bet that dickwad designer laughs their ass off everyday just thinking about how long it takes two drunks to open a bottle.
I went to supper in my building this evening and guess what, it's still annoying. It's almost chronic. Tonight's episode featured a woman who likes to talk A LOT. She started talking and I stood up, signalling I was about to leave the table but no one else was listening to her but me and even that was a stretch. I thought a million times about just walking away but I thought she'd take a hint that I was leaving if I was looming over her. To her I guess the fact that I didn't walk away mid-sentence made her think I was a captivated (not captive) audience. Fuck, I am getting nicer in my old age.
The rest of the evening was spent watching Absolutely Fabulous and other TV shows and telling my bodyguard that he is like my old daycare providers dog in that he lets everyone pull on him and he never bites them. But, he doesn't understand metaphor. Fuck.
Now, I am going to see if I remember how to read.
Tip of the Day: Question: What does having a bottle of water, a cup of coffee and a glass of wine on your desk say about who you are? Answer: Who the fuck cares?
-Canadian Castaway
Today was spent somehow, I am not sure how but here are the bits I can remember of it:
This morning I took the bus to a bookstore. On the bus was a couple they were a bit older and they were both laughing for most of the bus ride. The man's face was so smiley that it made me smile and laugh to myself. Then, after him and his wife stopped talking his face stayed like that and it became sort of creepy.
I got a package in the mail today from a friend back home. In the package was nail polish, lipstick, eyeball-shaped gum, a glass ring, two tea bags and 17 pads of sticky notes. I am not sure where the humor of that situation lies but it must be in there somewhere.
Today I went to pick up a gift certificate at a bookshop my friend works at. While waiting for my friend the look-up-peoples-nostrils-all-day type of short woman flitted around and handed me books and gave me oral book reports including plot details. The woman was a walking spoiler alert! I would've found this fascinating had the woman and myself shared similar tastes in books. After she went on and on about some high-brow French literature (Hey, fuck you, I read literature occasionally, I love Flaubert and Maupassant) I said to the woman, "I really just want to read Sarah Silverman's book called, Bedwetter."
I picked up my very hungover friend and we stopped to get her a sandwich and a Powerade. Turns out that some asswipe at Powerade has designed a cellophane wrapper that is impossible to get off and even if you do by some miracle get it off, there is also a seal to deal with. I bet that dickwad designer laughs their ass off everyday just thinking about how long it takes two drunks to open a bottle.
I went to supper in my building this evening and guess what, it's still annoying. It's almost chronic. Tonight's episode featured a woman who likes to talk A LOT. She started talking and I stood up, signalling I was about to leave the table but no one else was listening to her but me and even that was a stretch. I thought a million times about just walking away but I thought she'd take a hint that I was leaving if I was looming over her. To her I guess the fact that I didn't walk away mid-sentence made her think I was a captivated (not captive) audience. Fuck, I am getting nicer in my old age.
The rest of the evening was spent watching Absolutely Fabulous and other TV shows and telling my bodyguard that he is like my old daycare providers dog in that he lets everyone pull on him and he never bites them. But, he doesn't understand metaphor. Fuck.
Now, I am going to see if I remember how to read.
Tip of the Day: Question: What does having a bottle of water, a cup of coffee and a glass of wine on your desk say about who you are? Answer: Who the fuck cares?
-Canadian Castaway
Day 411
Tonight was drag queen bingo night. All I know for sure is that somehow I made it home and am currently watching Edward Scissorhands on the Canadian equivalent of PBS.
Here are a few other details I can (sort of) remember:
When we were waiting to get in a super loud older guy (possibly homeless) came up to us and kept talking on and on about how he wanted to get a cab. After a friend of mine listened to him for awhile she held out the bag she was eating from and said, "You want a carrot?" The guy, without hesitation, yelled in a husky voice, "Hell no!" He then turned to the street and started yelling, "Cab! Cab!"
My friend and I agreed to be drag queens for Halloween. I am to be the bingo caller drag queen and my friend is the assistant. Note: The bingo caller is the fat, loud one who makes absolutely no effort to sound womanly.
My friend who just broke up with her boyfriend asked a girl to go out with her and got rejected because the girl is engaged. She waited awhile and then found another girl whom she danced with quite sexily until the girl announced she was straight and left without so much as a kiss.
My friend was kissing the sound booth boy.
I wound up kissing a gay man.
I think that "blackout" bingo has a whole new meaning at this club. If you drink enough of the drink special and are not passed out in the bathroom and have played all your bingo rounds until the very end you just may blackout by the time it takes to rustle up a winner. Honestly, I could very well have won the final round had I only been sober enough to pay attention.
I went looking for my bodyguard to leave and found him outside with a crazed-looking homeless man next to him. The homeless guy said something like, "Get away from my boyfriend!" to me. He then pulled my bodyguard aside and told him he had a passion in his eyes. When I asked my bodyguard about it later he said that the man was a sad little guy who just wanted to be loved and he also said he felt sorry for him. This is why I love my bodyguard.
My bodyguard and I had a heart to heart on the bus ride home and he gave me the best advice I have received in a long, long time. Advice that if followed correctly could make me a much happier and receptive person. Basically he told me to let go and I think I will.
Alright, Edward is now off the air and I must leave so I can wake up tomorrow and regret nothing but not drinking enough water before going to bed.
Tip of the Day: Just because doubles are on special doesn't mean that you have to drink them...but your night may be a whole lot more fun if you do.
-Canadian Castaway
Tonight was drag queen bingo night. All I know for sure is that somehow I made it home and am currently watching Edward Scissorhands on the Canadian equivalent of PBS.
Here are a few other details I can (sort of) remember:
When we were waiting to get in a super loud older guy (possibly homeless) came up to us and kept talking on and on about how he wanted to get a cab. After a friend of mine listened to him for awhile she held out the bag she was eating from and said, "You want a carrot?" The guy, without hesitation, yelled in a husky voice, "Hell no!" He then turned to the street and started yelling, "Cab! Cab!"
My friend and I agreed to be drag queens for Halloween. I am to be the bingo caller drag queen and my friend is the assistant. Note: The bingo caller is the fat, loud one who makes absolutely no effort to sound womanly.
My friend who just broke up with her boyfriend asked a girl to go out with her and got rejected because the girl is engaged. She waited awhile and then found another girl whom she danced with quite sexily until the girl announced she was straight and left without so much as a kiss.
My friend was kissing the sound booth boy.
I wound up kissing a gay man.
I think that "blackout" bingo has a whole new meaning at this club. If you drink enough of the drink special and are not passed out in the bathroom and have played all your bingo rounds until the very end you just may blackout by the time it takes to rustle up a winner. Honestly, I could very well have won the final round had I only been sober enough to pay attention.
I went looking for my bodyguard to leave and found him outside with a crazed-looking homeless man next to him. The homeless guy said something like, "Get away from my boyfriend!" to me. He then pulled my bodyguard aside and told him he had a passion in his eyes. When I asked my bodyguard about it later he said that the man was a sad little guy who just wanted to be loved and he also said he felt sorry for him. This is why I love my bodyguard.
My bodyguard and I had a heart to heart on the bus ride home and he gave me the best advice I have received in a long, long time. Advice that if followed correctly could make me a much happier and receptive person. Basically he told me to let go and I think I will.
Alright, Edward is now off the air and I must leave so I can wake up tomorrow and regret nothing but not drinking enough water before going to bed.
Tip of the Day: Just because doubles are on special doesn't mean that you have to drink them...but your night may be a whole lot more fun if you do.
-Canadian Castaway
Monday, October 11, 2010
Day 408
Today I had my second Canadian Thanksgiving dinner. This year was different, this year there were no overbearing Canadian mothers and no getting drunk by 2 pm. This year there was the following:
Yams with marshmallows, ridiculously good and ridiculed for having marshmallows.
Mulled wine, yeah, it's almost reason enough to invest in spices, almost.
A clutch of nerdy gay men who talked about pornos and the infamous "Clippy" character from Microsoft whilst continuously checking their fancy phones and tweeting.
In place of the turkey was salmon. I know that I should be all impressed by this but I really just wanted to eat a dead bird that can ohh so easily contain salmonella.
We didn't go around the table and say what we are thankful for, partly because we didn't eat at a table.
One of our hosts locked me in the bedroom with him to tell me that he's learned how to knit so that he can knit his partner a hat for his birthday. When we walked out everyone looked at us like we'd fucked each other.
There was an apple pie and a pumpkin pie and the woman who made them begged and later demanded praise for them.
The whipped cream was homemade and there was rye whisky in it.
A gorgeous man (who of course is fucking gay) running up the street carrying a ham in oven mitts that (of course) matched his outfit.'
All in all, it was better than last year, or I was just more sober. And I am totally all for replacing a repressing mother-type with a gaggle of gays, it's way more fun.
Tip of the Day: No matter how many roasted edamame you eat they will never be as tasty as salt and vinegar potato chips. Damnit.
-Canadian Castaway
Today I had my second Canadian Thanksgiving dinner. This year was different, this year there were no overbearing Canadian mothers and no getting drunk by 2 pm. This year there was the following:
Yams with marshmallows, ridiculously good and ridiculed for having marshmallows.
Mulled wine, yeah, it's almost reason enough to invest in spices, almost.
A clutch of nerdy gay men who talked about pornos and the infamous "Clippy" character from Microsoft whilst continuously checking their fancy phones and tweeting.
In place of the turkey was salmon. I know that I should be all impressed by this but I really just wanted to eat a dead bird that can ohh so easily contain salmonella.
We didn't go around the table and say what we are thankful for, partly because we didn't eat at a table.
One of our hosts locked me in the bedroom with him to tell me that he's learned how to knit so that he can knit his partner a hat for his birthday. When we walked out everyone looked at us like we'd fucked each other.
There was an apple pie and a pumpkin pie and the woman who made them begged and later demanded praise for them.
The whipped cream was homemade and there was rye whisky in it.
A gorgeous man (who of course is fucking gay) running up the street carrying a ham in oven mitts that (of course) matched his outfit.'
All in all, it was better than last year, or I was just more sober. And I am totally all for replacing a repressing mother-type with a gaggle of gays, it's way more fun.
Tip of the Day: No matter how many roasted edamame you eat they will never be as tasty as salt and vinegar potato chips. Damnit.
-Canadian Castaway
Friday, October 8, 2010
Day 406
There is a list on my desk of all the things I should be doing today and I am pretending like it doesn't exist. There was a time today when this wasn't true. I called my dad to find out that I owe the IRS like 500 bucks. I went to the Financial Aid office and found out that my check had still not arrived. I gathered books that I made faculty members donate for the silent auction I am hosting at the Halloween party. I even had a meeting with my advisor who told me two wonderful things: 1. She liked my script that I turned in. 2. She is super amazed at how allegedly productive I am and how by how much I write. To me this meant two things: 1. This was a good excuse for me to use the knowledge that my name literally means, "Industrious one." and, 2. I could take the rest of the day off. So, here are a few things I did on my day off:
-Watched Golden Girls while crocheting. Yeah, I know, I am turning into an old maid.
-Bought a season pass for the show Parenthood and watched 3 episodes in a row. Technically, this is work as I plan to write a spec for this show but really I just needed to be a part of a TV family today.
-Did not show up for one of my jobs. I did however see my co-worker and told her to tell people that I couldn't make it, "Just tell them I am very busy doing nothing."
-Did not go to a birthday party for my friend. Fuck it.
-Read outlines for people's screenplays and was so horribly bored I couldn't keep reading. Seriously, I am starting to think that I can only watch TV from now on, movie are too long.
-Read a book called, "Story" and loved it which reminded me of how I never really change as a person, as a teenager I used to skip class to read books now I just skip life to read books.
-Went to dinner and sat by my absolute favorite nerd in the world. He went on and on about how he was going to invent a version of the game Risk that is based on actual American colonization. I pretty much nodded along and stole his pomegranate seeds.
-And finally I hung out with my neighbor in the new living room I built him. We talked about dentistry and porn and punching security guards in the stomach, in that order.
-Finally, I pretty much just creeped people on Facebook only to find that a friend of mine had her name followed by, "misses Emily." I wrote a comment on it as I was so extremely touched that she wrote a message just for me. It wasn't until now that I realized that I personally know at least 10 other Emilys and my friend is more popular and well-liked than I am perhaps she knows at least 20 Emilys. Maybe I should update the song to, "You're so vain you probably think this Facebook status update is about you..."
-Alright, now I am off to watch an episode of Ab Fab and wish I was more of a bad ass and British.
Tip of the Day: Take the day off, you deserve it.
-Canadian Castaway
-
There is a list on my desk of all the things I should be doing today and I am pretending like it doesn't exist. There was a time today when this wasn't true. I called my dad to find out that I owe the IRS like 500 bucks. I went to the Financial Aid office and found out that my check had still not arrived. I gathered books that I made faculty members donate for the silent auction I am hosting at the Halloween party. I even had a meeting with my advisor who told me two wonderful things: 1. She liked my script that I turned in. 2. She is super amazed at how allegedly productive I am and how by how much I write. To me this meant two things: 1. This was a good excuse for me to use the knowledge that my name literally means, "Industrious one." and, 2. I could take the rest of the day off. So, here are a few things I did on my day off:
-Watched Golden Girls while crocheting. Yeah, I know, I am turning into an old maid.
-Bought a season pass for the show Parenthood and watched 3 episodes in a row. Technically, this is work as I plan to write a spec for this show but really I just needed to be a part of a TV family today.
-Did not show up for one of my jobs. I did however see my co-worker and told her to tell people that I couldn't make it, "Just tell them I am very busy doing nothing."
-Did not go to a birthday party for my friend. Fuck it.
-Read outlines for people's screenplays and was so horribly bored I couldn't keep reading. Seriously, I am starting to think that I can only watch TV from now on, movie are too long.
-Read a book called, "Story" and loved it which reminded me of how I never really change as a person, as a teenager I used to skip class to read books now I just skip life to read books.
-Went to dinner and sat by my absolute favorite nerd in the world. He went on and on about how he was going to invent a version of the game Risk that is based on actual American colonization. I pretty much nodded along and stole his pomegranate seeds.
-And finally I hung out with my neighbor in the new living room I built him. We talked about dentistry and porn and punching security guards in the stomach, in that order.
-Finally, I pretty much just creeped people on Facebook only to find that a friend of mine had her name followed by, "misses Emily." I wrote a comment on it as I was so extremely touched that she wrote a message just for me. It wasn't until now that I realized that I personally know at least 10 other Emilys and my friend is more popular and well-liked than I am perhaps she knows at least 20 Emilys. Maybe I should update the song to, "You're so vain you probably think this Facebook status update is about you..."
-Alright, now I am off to watch an episode of Ab Fab and wish I was more of a bad ass and British.
Tip of the Day: Take the day off, you deserve it.
-Canadian Castaway
-
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Day 405
Today I called my dad and he asked me how school was going. I told him that I was really busy and was having my writing workshopped three times this week. I explained to him, without him asking me to do so, that workshopping is when a roomful of people read your work and then make comments on it and you sit there and listen. After I reminded him that I was speaking to him he retorted, "Well, you don't be a whiny asshole about taking a little criticism. You be nice and listen to what others have to say, okay?" "Dad, I have been doing this for years I can take a little criticism," I said. Then he said, "No--no you can't, you never have been good at it. But you had better take it and not be a whiny asshole. I know you and I know how you are."
A little while later I went to my class and it came my turn for workshop. This is a playwriting class so members of the class took roles and read my play aloud. The reading itself was brilliant. People laughed and the woman who I thought would botch up the role of the split personalities character played it marvelously. And then, I was told the following: the story of it sucks, the characters are cliches, my female characters are demeaning, the ending is shit, and my personal favorite, "The dialogue is outdated."
Later, after I'd grinned through it all and went home to drop my bag off before meeting friends at the bar and trying not to cry like a little bitch troll, I thought about my situation and turns out my dad is right. If the thought that he might be right wasn't enough the fact that I whined all night to my friends about how workshopping sucks and I suck and everything sucks (even though it really doesn't) proves I am a whiny asshole. And, if I keep it up, which according to my father I have been like this since the age of 4 or so, I just may die of annoying myself and having my father in the constant state of being right. Frig.
Sadly and in a way luckily, one of my friend's who I was out with tonight had an allergic reaction to something. This horrific event finally made me realize that all I was doing was bitching all night and the fact that my friend who was seeing spots and nearly passing out was a waaaay bigger deal than what a buncha undergrad kids said about my play in class, despite having laughed their asses off at it. Plus, it was nice to be able to help someone else for a change and she, with her allergic reaction probably gave my friends a way to see me in a new light and to realize that I am not just a whiny asshole, I am a whiny asshole who will do anything to help her friends out when they should need anything.
Tip of the Day: Stay in if you are going to take out your whiny asshole bitch troll-iness out on the people who you care about and who (used to) respect you.
-Canadian Castaway
Today I called my dad and he asked me how school was going. I told him that I was really busy and was having my writing workshopped three times this week. I explained to him, without him asking me to do so, that workshopping is when a roomful of people read your work and then make comments on it and you sit there and listen. After I reminded him that I was speaking to him he retorted, "Well, you don't be a whiny asshole about taking a little criticism. You be nice and listen to what others have to say, okay?" "Dad, I have been doing this for years I can take a little criticism," I said. Then he said, "No--no you can't, you never have been good at it. But you had better take it and not be a whiny asshole. I know you and I know how you are."
A little while later I went to my class and it came my turn for workshop. This is a playwriting class so members of the class took roles and read my play aloud. The reading itself was brilliant. People laughed and the woman who I thought would botch up the role of the split personalities character played it marvelously. And then, I was told the following: the story of it sucks, the characters are cliches, my female characters are demeaning, the ending is shit, and my personal favorite, "The dialogue is outdated."
Later, after I'd grinned through it all and went home to drop my bag off before meeting friends at the bar and trying not to cry like a little bitch troll, I thought about my situation and turns out my dad is right. If the thought that he might be right wasn't enough the fact that I whined all night to my friends about how workshopping sucks and I suck and everything sucks (even though it really doesn't) proves I am a whiny asshole. And, if I keep it up, which according to my father I have been like this since the age of 4 or so, I just may die of annoying myself and having my father in the constant state of being right. Frig.
Sadly and in a way luckily, one of my friend's who I was out with tonight had an allergic reaction to something. This horrific event finally made me realize that all I was doing was bitching all night and the fact that my friend who was seeing spots and nearly passing out was a waaaay bigger deal than what a buncha undergrad kids said about my play in class, despite having laughed their asses off at it. Plus, it was nice to be able to help someone else for a change and she, with her allergic reaction probably gave my friends a way to see me in a new light and to realize that I am not just a whiny asshole, I am a whiny asshole who will do anything to help her friends out when they should need anything.
Tip of the Day: Stay in if you are going to take out your whiny asshole bitch troll-iness out on the people who you care about and who (used to) respect you.
-Canadian Castaway
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Day 402
My apologies if you had the misfortune of reading yesterday's shitass attempt at blogging, turns out when you sit around eating Good N Plenty and watching movies all day you can't write very well. Anyway, on with it, I haven't had any Good N Plenty in a few hours.
Today I went to the gigantic Japanese store with my Chinese neighbor. I was super excited and had a great time looking at 2 dollar Japanese crap until...I had to find my friend. Turns out that there were lots of people in the store, lots of Asian people to be exact. Every time I thought I heard my friend speaking it was another woman, and every time I thought I saw her it turned out to be another lady with long black, parted-down-the-middle hair. I was living a white people stereotype nightmare. When I finally found my friend I grabbed her shoulders and said, "The next time we come here you are dying your hair. I don't care which color but it can't be black!"
I went to supper this evening, this doesn't often happen anymore due to work and going out with writers and the fact that I am sick of making small talk. Weirdly though all went well. I sat by a chatty girl from California who I actually quite enjoy and tonight she taught me a very important lesson, a lesson that I will never forget. The lesson is: If someone tells you that they have had gastric bypass surgery do not ask them about the recovery process, especially if you have just eaten a plateful of food or do not enjoy 30 minute stories that aren't that interesting. Frick.
Sidenote: I just asked someone to be my friend on Facebook and had them accept the request within seconds. Wow, looks like I just got a new BFF.
Tip of the Day: If you call your mom and she asks you what you're doing tell her, "Well, I just let loose a loud fart."
-Canadian Castaway
My apologies if you had the misfortune of reading yesterday's shitass attempt at blogging, turns out when you sit around eating Good N Plenty and watching movies all day you can't write very well. Anyway, on with it, I haven't had any Good N Plenty in a few hours.
Today I went to the gigantic Japanese store with my Chinese neighbor. I was super excited and had a great time looking at 2 dollar Japanese crap until...I had to find my friend. Turns out that there were lots of people in the store, lots of Asian people to be exact. Every time I thought I heard my friend speaking it was another woman, and every time I thought I saw her it turned out to be another lady with long black, parted-down-the-middle hair. I was living a white people stereotype nightmare. When I finally found my friend I grabbed her shoulders and said, "The next time we come here you are dying your hair. I don't care which color but it can't be black!"
I went to supper this evening, this doesn't often happen anymore due to work and going out with writers and the fact that I am sick of making small talk. Weirdly though all went well. I sat by a chatty girl from California who I actually quite enjoy and tonight she taught me a very important lesson, a lesson that I will never forget. The lesson is: If someone tells you that they have had gastric bypass surgery do not ask them about the recovery process, especially if you have just eaten a plateful of food or do not enjoy 30 minute stories that aren't that interesting. Frick.
Sidenote: I just asked someone to be my friend on Facebook and had them accept the request within seconds. Wow, looks like I just got a new BFF.
Tip of the Day: If you call your mom and she asks you what you're doing tell her, "Well, I just let loose a loud fart."
-Canadian Castaway
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Day 401
Holy shit, I missed day 400! Well, on day 400 I got my period AND saw my alleged bff bodyguard makeout with an extremely drunk friend of his. This is the same friend he has had a crush on for over a year. Everyone (including myself) told him to go for it. Little did we know he would...in my place of employ, sucking face like a freaky vampire for over an hour at a table that all his friends were sitting a well, they were sitting at until they couldn't take it anymore. I would be a liar if I didn't admit spreading the gossip around this morning but the whole thing is still kinda sick.
Other than that today I ate an amazing beef sandwich, lost my earbuds, and was generally cranky despite having watched Saved! and A Dirty Shame. Tomorrow I am going to a giant Japanese store. The last time I went there there was a rush in the cellphone danglers section. It was so thick with all types of Japanese peeps, including a white-haired man, that I couldn't make it in there. I don't even want a cellphone dangly, but the sheer fact that they are hard to inquire makes me NEED ONE NOW! Hopefully the don't just have the anal bead variety left by the time I elbow my way in.
Aight, I am so frigging tired. I am off to bed to try and not dream about my now ex-bff (he is a hot mess) and the skank he makes out with.
Tip of the Day: Don't watch that third movie, it'll just put you to sleep.
-Canadian Castaway
Holy shit, I missed day 400! Well, on day 400 I got my period AND saw my alleged bff bodyguard makeout with an extremely drunk friend of his. This is the same friend he has had a crush on for over a year. Everyone (including myself) told him to go for it. Little did we know he would...in my place of employ, sucking face like a freaky vampire for over an hour at a table that all his friends were sitting a well, they were sitting at until they couldn't take it anymore. I would be a liar if I didn't admit spreading the gossip around this morning but the whole thing is still kinda sick.
Other than that today I ate an amazing beef sandwich, lost my earbuds, and was generally cranky despite having watched Saved! and A Dirty Shame. Tomorrow I am going to a giant Japanese store. The last time I went there there was a rush in the cellphone danglers section. It was so thick with all types of Japanese peeps, including a white-haired man, that I couldn't make it in there. I don't even want a cellphone dangly, but the sheer fact that they are hard to inquire makes me NEED ONE NOW! Hopefully the don't just have the anal bead variety left by the time I elbow my way in.
Aight, I am so frigging tired. I am off to bed to try and not dream about my now ex-bff (he is a hot mess) and the skank he makes out with.
Tip of the Day: Don't watch that third movie, it'll just put you to sleep.
-Canadian Castaway
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