Day 350
Today was the official last day at the post office for me. I got a cupcake, only an hour after I asked my boss if she had bought me a cake. Then, as I was eating the cupcake, she said that everyone in the past week had gotten a cupcake from her. Then, she told me that one of the employees had an allergic reaction possibly from a cupcake she gave out. And to top it all off I didn't even steal the stamps I brought home. All in all, it totally sucked but when the latest Usher featuring some guy who also sucks song came on at work and I said, "I HATE this song, it makes me want to hit people" the hottest guy I have seen in quite sometime looked up from the envelope he was addressing and said, "Yeah, I know I hate it. It totally sucks."
So where I come from there are four seasons per year and I know that may sound nice to people who don't have four seasons but let me assure you it is just a sales tool. It is a way to cope with the fact that there are only maybe four lovely days weather-wise per year. What is weird is that coming to a nice climate from my background you will not be able to nap somewhere where they have nice weather. You will be lying in bed feeling guilty about wasting the beautiful day despite there being many of them per year where you are currently located and then you will go sit outside and read all afternoon silently cursing the niceness of the day for making you sit in sunshine instead of lie in bed dreaming about it.
I have a friend, okay, an obnoxious and evil neighbor who I sometimes hang out with to make fun of her accent and hope that her evil rubs off on me. Tonight we decided that since it was VAFN (vaguely Asian food night) at the rez I needed to run up to McDonald's for a cheeseburger. She insisted that we ride bikes and that she not order any food at McDonald's and, if that didn't make me feel fat enough, she also insisted that we ride our bikes all over, this includes going uphill, for fun (her version, not mine). After we got back I asked her if my mother was paying her. What I wanted to ask her is whether she was making me do all of this physical activity because she wants me to loose weight and be healthier or because she thought it was hilarious.
The pathetic saga of the guy I used to have a crush on, got ditched by and still kinda like continues. This time I ran into him just after my friend and I got back from the bike ride. Translation: I was sweating and smelly. He told me and my friend that he found out his bike had just been stolen. Then I asked him if I could borrow a wrench to adjust my seat and asked if he still needed to borrow my nailpolish. When he returned with the wrench and the bike that needed nailpolishing (I still don't get that) he had in his free hand an extra bike seat that he brought for my bike because my seat has a hole in it. And then I watched him put it on for me. Well, watched him while telling him which way he had to turn the tool to get the bolt loose. Note: I had the lowest score possible on the mechanics portion of standardized testing I had to take as a child. Anyway, later I realized that I am so far removed from dating right now that I would not be able to tell if giving someone a bike seat is being nice or a way of hitting on someone. Is this how the kids are picking each other up these days? Interesting.
I just saw a stool softener commercial that starred a middle-aged woman. I wonder if she has been working her whole life to become an actress and this was the only part she landed. I also wonder if she is extremely proud of her constipated role or if she finds it hilarious. I wonder if part of her pay was some product samples and I wonder if she used them. Wow, I have no life and I am a sicko. I am such an overachiever it makes me sick.
Tip of the Day: Read.
-Canadian Castaway
No comments:
Post a Comment