Day 365
Today I got two jobs that I didn't apply for. The first job is a position in my residence. Apparently, I am an "Emergency Contact" aka: The girl that you call when you are a new resident and too stupid or drunk or lost to open the key box. The funny thing is that I am probably the least welcoming person in the building. My other duties include helping people if they have emergencies. My usual response to emergencies: panic! and then ask my bodyguard to tell me what to do.
The second job I got today was when I went in to the department office to ask why the hell people are coming to me saying that I can give them money and they were told to run ideas by me regarding creative writing department concerns. Turns out I am the "chair" of the program's student association and I didn't know it. This job is apparently the same gig as the key box in a lot of ways. Except I get paid 100s of dollars more but, I still am essentially the welcoming committee for new students and the go to for concerns. Why the hell do people think I am so good at solving problems and welcoming people? All I gotta say is make me "queen" not "chair" and give me a tiara and I will be as welcoming as you want.
Today I hung out at the magazine office for my department. We bitched about each other and writing and how the heat might kill the resident goldfish and then we all started to sing a Sinead O'Connor song. Then I was suddenly struck by a wave of instant nostalgia, imagining that there will come a day when I think back on the moment we all started singing Sinead and remember it sweeter than it actually was. Maybe in my memory none of us will hold back our voices out of embarrassment and there will be a dance number.
After supper this evening I learned how to hook up A/V equipment for one of my other jobs. Note: I can barely turn on my laptop and they think I can set up video equipment. On the plus side, if I can figure it out I can project pornos on the outside wall of my building. After that I went to my new neighbors room to see the 22 boxes of shit he shipped over from his country. Apparently, it was a half ton of stuff. When I knocked (and he knew I was coming) he answered after a few minutes and he was wearing a friggin night dress. It looked like the thing the Scrooge wore in The Muppet Christmas Carol. Keep in mind that he is under 25 years old and that I sort of asked him out for Saturday. Would I be a total cunt if I told him I couldn't make it because his boxes and freaky nightgown scare the hell out of me?
The best thing ever just happened: VH1 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs is on!!!! I have never been so friggin glad to see Bret Michaels and wonder if he took his bandanna off would his head fall off? And of course Bret Michaels is wearing a Bret Michaels shirt. Okay so I will admit this is definitely not the first time I watched this show but I do know that I will watch it EVERY time it comes on television and I find it. #60 Skid Row! I cannot decide if my spirit animal is the lead singer of The Darkness, Dio or, Lady Gaga. Best quote: "Kid Rock was a trailer park pimp."
Tip of the Day: If you can only afford to buy one rock record make sure that record is by The Kinks.
-Canadian Castaway
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