It's Time for a Heart to Heart aka What I Think Writing Programs Really Teach You

Day 354

Okay so maybe I didn't get chosen to write the blog for MFA Confidential but I am going to blog about what it means to be in an MFA Creative Writing Program. I am not going to splash flashy details about my day today like the fact that I saw a group of kids who are super into Anime today and were all dressed up in character playing a game where you kick a soda bottle and whomever it points to you have to hug. Alright, I just did but, now it's time for a heart to heart...

Last week I was asked to give a talk to incoming students about what it is like to be in the MFA program, what to expect and so on. It wasn't until tonight when I hung out with an infamous recluse in my program that I realized what I was going to say to these fresh kids. Here is what I have planned to tell them about my experience:

Being in the MFA program at first seemed like a whose is more clever contest but, you come to realize that stories aren't lasting because they have clever lines, stories that get remembered are build atop honesty and an understanding of the human condition. And guess what, I won't learn how to write honest, epic, lasting stories in the MFA program. In order to do that you must live your life and continue to write and write until you can one day break through whatever it is in young artists minds that make them resort to cleverness when you cannot get to what is real because it is too difficult.

I had a good time, for awhile. I got drunk and laughed and talked and felt like the entire purpose in life was to one up people and be a brassy darling. But then I realized that my time is my own. The reason they say "I spent the last hour..." is because time is a commodity. I know it's cliche but at the root of cliches are nuggets of truth. I spent much of my time talking about writing and little of my time actually writing. The thing about spending time is that I worried too much about how much of it I wasted. Lifetime isn't cash, you shouldn't keep a ledger of how it is spent in the past. I actually spent time worrying about how I was wasting it. But what I learned the most is that time is never wasted but it could be spent better. And, the only one holding the purse strings of your time is yourself.

I learned that if you are lucky you will build friendships that allow you to commiserate with your writer pals and have someone to talk to and inspire you when writing itself is too intimidating. I am very lucky. There are many people who inspire me and challenge me and people I love in the writing program. These people will keep me going through hard times and low spots (and cliched phrases) and their friendship alone is worth the amount of loan money I have on my head now.

From the talk with my friend tonight I was reminded that the program is what you make of it. I learned that so often in life we set ourselves up to fail and I learned that we don't have to do that. I also learned that these two years are practice. I mean sure, there is a chance you will write an amazing show that will get picked up and secure you employment but that is not likely and just knowing that should take the pressure off enough to enable you maybe write that series. I learned that when you hear the word "thesis" there is an immediate panic and dread until you say to yourself that it should be called, "practice" or better yet, "determined dedication." There is no word count taser that will zap your ass if you don't put out enough writing. Although, I wonder what would be produced if such a thing did exist.

Most of all I learned that this part of life is just like any other. It is all about the same shit life is really about. Life is really all about figuring out who you are and what you want and attempting to feed both. If you really want to grow as a person you will. If you really want to be a better person, you will. If you really want to become a writer you will and no writing program is going to do that for you, you are the only person who can do that for you.

Okay, so I am done. That is really all there is to being in a writing program. Well, that and if you are lucky there will be little meaningless functions you can attend with free cheese and a cash bar.

Tip of the Day: Kick the bottle and hug someone.

-Canadian Castaway