Day 348
So you ever have those super cliche moments when you realize that you have become your father or mother? I just had one of those and it was terrifying. Don't get me wrong my parents are hilarious assholes and I wouldn't mind having my mother's wit or my father's originality but when I started to realize that I spend all my time either doing nothing or bitching about doing nothing and being too overwhelmed to move on it makes me want to vomit. So instead of setting goals about what I'd like to accomplish I think I am going to do the reverse (set goals of what I don't want to accomplish) because on a lot of levels it is harder and if I can accomplish being the person I DON'T want to be I will be the person I do want to be. Maybe. I guess if it works I could change the lives of tons of high school kids who are told to write life goals and maybe they wouldn't have to spend their first years of college gaining thirty pounds, contracting STDs and getting wasted trying to figure out what goals they want to set versus setting goals of what they don't want to be. Nah, fuck that they'd still drink their faces off. But, they might be better people while doing it.
So, I just turned on the TV to find the scene from Titanic where Jack draws the bitch. And then the scene fades to the older version of Rose and she tells them that they didn't have sex and that it was the most erotic moment of her life. My reaction: laugh while I turn it off. The first memory I had of this movie was the last time my family went to the movies together. The funniest part of that was that though we went to the movies together the show was sold out and we were all seated in different parts of the theatre next to strangers. I found this rather humorous as a disgruntled pre-teen who didn't want to attend a movie with my parents, ever. Over the years I would throw myself against things and say, "Jack! Never let go Jack" including one time not even a year ago when I did this on a pier, giggling my ass off. I guess Titanic movie has been one of the most consistent forms of hilarity in my life. I think I should feel bad about this but instead I am going to be grateful for it.
At supper this evening I was talking to a Canadian friend of mine and at one point I said, "Remember that time I said, 'Fuck you' to you, twice?" "Umm, no. You say that to me all the time." "No, that one time when I really meant it?" He just gave me a blank stare. Instead of feeling bad for cursing at him I thought, "Oh shit, I am using the same curse words so often that they have lost their meaning. What the hell am I supposed to say to him now? I am so unoriginal. How about, 'Sod off, cocksucker?' No, that doesn't sound right."
Want to hear a pathetic story? One of my neighbors I used to have a crush on wants to borrow some nailpolish to patch up the paint of his bike (so he says). He said he'd stop by after dinner. I went out to the grocery store after dinner but made sure to text him and tell him that I was going to be gone for quite awhile but back later and to text when he wanted to come over. While I was at the store I bought a new candle. I think I was trying to tell myself it was because my old one was nearly spent and my room could use one. But, my secret motivation was that it would smell nice for him. Yeah, it has come to that. I am trying to woo the guy who wants to borrow my nailpolish. Thank God I find that funny or I would have to find an apartment with a bathtub to slit my wrists in and I couldn't afford one of those in this city.
SIDENOTE: He didn't show up or text and the candle smells vaguely like an old lady.
Tomorrow is my last day working for the Canadian Postal Service. I am terribly excited but I fear it will be another horrible day. But in a certain way I would like to postpone my last day. I know, it sounds insane but now I am in a place where they almost can't really fire me. I can do whatever I want. I no longer care about the job or have a huge threat of being fired. It's amazing. I feel like Peter on Office Space except I am not going home at night to watch Kung Fu with my sweetheart. Damn.
So I just watched a clip on yahoo.ca news about the Tibetan mastiff dog that is selling for half a million bucks in China right now. The American Kennel Club representative in the video when asked if they were a good family dog went on for a bit about how loyal and protective they are and then added, "They are so smart they get bored." If it is true that you have to be smart to get bored then I must be VERY smart.
Tip of the Day: Be like your parents in a good way just make sure you don't be your parents.
-Canadian Castaway
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