Day 353
On the long walk from the bus stop to home this evening I listened to my voicemails while apparently, walking through a movie set. The last message I heard was my mother saying, "You'd better be putting the pencil to the paper or doing something productive today!" My entire day was spent going to work at my now re-opened pub and going to a birthday party and drinking vodka. Don't you just love it when your mother calls.
This morning I went to breakfast and there were three spots to sit at. I chose the one by the new guy I didn't know. It was the right spot to choose. I am nutso in the morning, excited for no reason. I used to wake up everyone in my house dancing along to I Love Rock n Roll. Anyway, the new guy accepted and embraced my craze. I think he will make a good neighbor. That's pretty much all I have to say. Oh and I kinda want to kiss him but it'll probably pass.
Today I had my first shift back at the pub I was laid off from months ago. I am glad to say that it was boring. If it were anything but boring then things might have gone wrong and it would have been hell. Here are the top two absolute most exciting things that happened:
-I accidently gave myself a 1278 dollar tip. It caused a mayhem of managers calling Mastercard to ammend and I didn't get the tip.
-I chased crows. They were swarming the patio and I literally chased them and shouted at them and somehow, this behavior decreased my tips. I mean shit, what are people thinking? I am scaring away the birds that could swoop in and gobble up their club sandwiches, don't I deserve a LARGER tip not a smaller one?
When I finally made it to the birthday party, after passing through a film shoot and a carnival of people dressed as Sailor Moon, I had a pretty good time celebrating the other Emily's birthday. The birthday girl's best friend is a very attractive Scottish man. He is one of those people that American teen movies make you feel like you are too dorky to even be looked at by. Wait, they actually get the guy in the end... Well, I guess I got the Scottsman too, in a way. Sure he may have been talking to a bar glass as though it were a telephone and Tom Petty was on the other side but he did reach out and hold my hand while he did it. Well, he held it until I picked up my own bar glass and answered, as Tom Petty. A few minutes later he made out with his bar glass stating afterward that he made out with Tom Petty and because he thought I was Tom Petty I guess that means we made out. Wow.
Because I am a loser and a geek I looked up my "Daily Singles Horoscope" (come on, it's right next to my regular one). Most of it was the same old shit. The whole bit about being super self-empowered and blah, blah, blah. But, the last line was the best thing I have read in a horoscope lately. It said, "Try not to act too surprised when the hotties start falling at your feet and your rivals look on in frustration!" I'd like to point out that that I didn't embellish the exclamation point, it was there. I wonder if I'll get to pick which hotties fall on my feet or if I will kick them.
I am super tired and too old to see 3 am again. So I am off to dream of hotties and drunken Scottish men who aren't Craig Ferguson.
Tip of the Day: Be nice and if you think you are nice enough be a little bit nicer even if it is just a social experiment.
-Canadian Castaway
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