Day 367

Today was a (dare I say) flipping fantastic day. I woke up and Skyped with my little brother who had woken up, drank two beers and ate pizza. Then I went to the grocery store with the guy who I thought ditched me yesterday. Turns out he texted me several times but had a ridiculously wrong number for my phone. As it turns out this guy may not be dating material but it was nice that he picked raspberries for me and picked up my button when I dropped it. Too bad he cut up his legs in the bramble. Ehh, fuck it, that is what you get for telling me to not whine about the weather.

After I got home from the supermarket with my three different kinds of deli meat at my side I checked my email. Not only did I have meat, it turns out I have received another scholarship. I was so glad that I did a five minute, improvised happy dance. Then I wrote a thank you note to the person who awarded me the money. I wrote the note but then realized that I didn't have printing paper that doesn't have my old scripts on one side nor did I have any envelopes to put a letter in even if I could print it. Tonight I realized with a printed, enveloped, addressed, and stamped envelope ready to go out tomorrow that I misspelled the name of the person who awarded me the money. What is a little wasted postage of the queen to a gal who has just struck it big with 650 bucks less tuition to pay? On the otherhand, perhaps she won't notice I forgot an "e" in her name...

This afternoon my mother threatened me. This happens quite often. Usually it sounds something like, "You aren't writing, you are screwing off. Now, I want you to--Shut up! I want you to put that pen--Shut up and listen to me! I want you to put that pencil to the pad right now...I WILL come up there and kick your ass...I will fly up there right now. Shut up, now!" Today she followed it up with a threat to call me in the next two hours and that I had better have produced some writing by then. This new tactic worked. I went to the coffeeshop and wrote up scenes and threads and outlines. She never called me back though so I could brag about it and get re-yelled at. Guess she shut up this time.

I just went onto Facebook to find a thread of conversation by two of my best looking friends. In the conversation one offers to marry the other. I read their exchanges like a peeper perv and then posted that I would like to attend the wedding. I just checked back on Facebook to find that their thread of marriage conversation had continued with my little comment totally unnoticed. When are the pretty people gonna see that I exist? Fuck them, if I go to their wedding they are getting a used toaster.

I must say I am a little confused by advertising. I just saw a commercial for KIA automobiles (wow, 'automobiles' I am an octogenarian). Somehow gerbils in ghetto gear rapping about nothing makes people want to buy shitty cars. For my birthday this year I want to meet the people who bought KIAs based on this commercial or better yet, I want to meet the person that thought that the way to sell cars was to market them to perverts who let rodents run up their pants.

Tip of the Day: Don't eat all the corn nuts and chase them with tortilla chips, you WILL regret it.

-Canadian Castaway