Day 81
I am not sure if you read about yesterday's escapade (gin, raspberry sour pucker, vodka, amaretto, white wine, sambuca, more vodka, and pink punch) anyway, this morning it took a lot of hashbrowns, eggs and cheese to get started, but I think it was the umbrella I bought that brought me back to life. Or, was it the original price tag that was found on my new Salvation army coat that read, "$365" that did it? Ahh, who the hell cares.
Let's see, what happened today? I read a lot and checked facebook a lot. And, then I realized that drunk me made all sorts of comments on my friends's (?) walls. I wrote to someone, "I LOBE YOU." I had an entire chat conversation with someone I don't even really like which pretty much (as she wrote in the conversation) gave her gave her the right to make fun of me at school on Monday, probably in front of the entire class. See why I don't like her much? She's too much like me. Does that mean I don't like myself?
My mother bitched at me on the phone yesterday about not sharing my candy that I got in the mail. I have spent the better part of three days binging on it (there is a ton of it, it cost thirty dollars to mail it here) and I don't want to share. Even though I look in the mirror and think, "I should stop eating chips and candy so much." Did I mention that I have a stash of cheap Greek-flavored chips? Well, as I am writing this I am double-fisting both of these delights, you should see the keyboard. But, I feel like I am on a mission, one day I will finish both the chips and the candy and that day I will diet. Must get through 12 more Dutch mints.
Today I decided to try writing a character sketch. Most of the time when I write stories I develop a character in my head and never take the time to fill out a silly questionnaire about them. But, today I found out what I was missing out on. It's awesome, you don't have to think of a plot line to make a character. How can you screw up making up a person? It's perfect. I think I can make a whole new fiction genre out of this idea. I will just write character descriptions and the reader can write their own plotlines and pick and choose characters to include in stories they make up. It'll be fantastic I won't have to do make up complicated stories, and writing their own stories will be fulfilling to the 'readers' and make them feel god-like.
Tonight it was VAFN (vaguely asian food night), AGAIN. My very hungover friend suggested that we order pizza to cure her hangover and get me out of VAFNing. I ordered it online and gave the pizza place my phone number. An hour went by and I tromped back to my room to call and just inquire about the pizza's whereabouts as the website gave a 36 to 46 minute timeframe for the pizza's arrival. I was then bitched at from the pizza dispatch girl saying that they had tried to call my phone three times and the driver had already left. She made me stay on the phone while she called him again to see if he would come back. He told her he would. I explained that my phone didn't show any missed calls (although I apparently had a voicemail, hmm). She didn't care.
I waited outside for another 10 minutes and barked at my fellow residents who seemed so content and full of food. They all backed away and said, "I hope you have a better night." (translation: Shut the hell up bitch, like I care that your fat ass isn't getting a pizza. Maybe you could go without it for once, it wouldn't kill you.) I cursed my hungover friend who was watching motherfucking football in the TV room and not having to deal with this shit.
Finally, the driver pulled his rickety shit car right up onto the sidewalk and popped out. He milled around the side of the car, put himself behind the open car door and said, "You know I have to make as many stops as possible to make money so I can't just keep waiting and coming back here." His lecture lasted another minute and a half and somewhere toward the end, barely audible, he may have said, "I'm sorry." or maybe it said, "You should be sorry." I don't know, I was sort of in a daze not expecting to get a lecture in the first place. He announced the total and I gave him money in all twoonies and loonies (plus a near 20 percent tip) and apologized for the coins. He said, "It's all currency," and then drove off.
I dragged my ass through the drizzle and up the stairs and my friend said, "What took so long?" I threw down the pizza and promptly lost it. I was kick-you-in-the-eye mad for quite sometime. Then our mutual friend offered me a beer. I said, "No, I've been drinking too much lately." She said, "Are you sure?" I said, "Give me that beer." And, I finally calmed down. Then I realized that drinking's not so bad, at least if you drink often you don't get debilitating hangovers. Jesus, I am an alcoholic. Oh well, everyone else on the globe is a pill popper.
-Canadian Castaway
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