Day 69
Hey! It's my birthday! This was realized upon eating cheap pizza in a dingy by the slice joint. I swear that more than half of the restaurants I have in seen in Canada would be shut down for not meeting the absolute bottom end of cleanliness regulations if they were in the U.S. This is including the restaurant I work at. Which, it is curious to note has had the same sign on a fire alarm (in the fucking kitchen) that has an official-looking health inspector tag on it stating, "Failed." But, I think the main concern is that the kitchen smells like it has enough gas in the air to power a 4X4 pickup truck across the state of Oregon.
Today I ran into an Indian woman I know who is in the neuroscience program. I didn't want to see her as I thought she may be bitter that I didn't let her attach electrodes to my skull. But, she was actually quite glad to see me. I didn't have all that much to say (as I was preparing a lie to tell her about why I hadn't made it to her experiment) but I did notice that she was wearing dolphin earrings. I hate all things dolphin jewelery related but found myself saying, "Dolphin earrings?! I really like them." She tugged at them and told me, "Thanks, I bought them back home in India. You can buy earrings there for very cheap, like the equivalent of five cents a pair." Immediately I thought about when I could pop on over to India and pick up earrings. Only five cents! I wonder how many pairs of earring you'd have to buy to incur enough saving to pay for the cost of the 2,000 dollar plane ticket.
Anyway, I actually had a good day. Goddamn, I hate to admit it. The beginning was a little rough. But, after I got a smoothie AND a pita sandwich I thought it had turned out quite well. Well, except for that fact that I felt super nauseated in anticipation of the writing workshop class ripping apart my non-fiction story about a crazed nasty customer I used to wait on at the bar I used to work at. The first person workshopped got the shit kicked out of her for over an hour. By the time hers was finally finished I wanted to race out of the room, out of the building, across the campus, down the 400+ stairs to the "Clothing Optional" beach and throw myself into the ocean, making sure stuff my pockets with boulders on the way. The only thing that really happened is that I rammed my knee into a metal chair.
After a brief break it was my turn. I tried to put on a neutral expression and make myself look like I was concentrating really hard on writing down important things in my notebook. I really don't know how one looks lwhen they are writing important things, but at that moment I must have sported that look or at least looked very constipated. Anyway, the storm of nasty crisicism didn't really hit. Almost everyone started to shower out compliments and praise. The instructor wrangled in the compliments and added to them. He then said, "I don't know who is crazy in this piece, the customer lady or the employees." (implying the author in this category). This was said by a man who only ten minutes later told everyone he was Jesus. I am really starting to like this being in grad school. Just think of what a celebrity I will be when I go home for Christmas and tell people I am being taught how to write from Jesus.
This evening, after stopping off for a few peach ciders (I know, pussy drink) me, my bodyguard and a friend of ours went to see Art Brut. I was so excited at the possibility to see them play "Emily Kane". They did play it. But, it was almost like they didn't want to because all they ever do is play that fucking song. What a horrible thing it must be to have a hit single that you are known for.
Anyway, the best part of the evening was when the lead singer came into the crowd and every time my friend reached over and grabbed his ass she threw up another finger on her hand to keep score. How dare I not have believed that she would touch his ass. The oddest part of the evening was when I looked around me after haven shaken my ass for 20 minutes saw that the guy directly behind me was a creepy old dude.
The concert was fun but when I got home the backs of my calves hurt from pogoing. What a wuss I have become. I should be pogo training daily if I want to go out to shows. Just as soon as I can wobble over to bed and go to sleep I will wake up tomorrow and forget to train. Good thing I don't re-read this blog ever or I'd have a lifetime of bouncing to deal with.
-Canadian Castaway
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