Bibs, Biters, Stuck, Facebook Therapy, Bushes, Goldfish Consumption

Day 94

I think the real reason adult bibs never got into fashion is because super models never eat or endorse eating in any way. But, it would sure be helpful to have fashionable bibs so that when you venture out for a gossip session and spill mustard on your shirt you'd be protected and stylish. I wonder if you'd still wear the bib around all day, though? Guess who spilled mustard on her shirt?

So a friend and I were out for our gossip session and after we ate we walked down a huge hill to ring the bell of a friend. Just as I was about to climb through shrubbery and into his balcony my friend got him on the phone to find that he was at a coffeeshop up the street. We plodded over and sat with him. One of the friend's punched the other and he said, "Why are you so violent." She said, "When I get excited I punch." "Why?" "Because I had to stop biting."

Later I went to meet two other friends. I was recounting the conversation for them and telling them how I bit too and how one of my parents had to bite me to make me stop and one of my friends agreed and had the same experience. The other friend was like, "Your parents bit you?!" And then said, "Biting is fun." I said, "You bite people?" And he was all like, "Yeah. Don't you?" And I stared at him wide eyed as we had just been through that. Right? And then he said, "You know when you are really passionate and..." My fellow childhood biter and I giggled. "I don't think he gets it," I said. My fellow childhood biter then said, "I bite people, too."

After that we piled into a rental car and went grocery shopping. Which was fun except when a friend of mine picked up a cheese ball and just as as I was about to ask him to chuck it at me the cheese organizer dude showed up. Anyway, I bought toilet paper, generic diet grapefruit soda, pickles, and goldfish. Just the essentials.

So, before I was going to study my ass off (never happened) I popped by my friend's room for a hug and catch up session. I knocked on his door and heard a woman say, "Just a minute," on the other side. She opened the door and I was face to face with his mother who ushered me in and told me that my friend was in the "washroom" (Canadian for bathroom) and asked me if I wanted any juice. His father, a wild-haired old German artist sat in the corner. I had only met these people in passing. We made small talk and it turns out they didn't remember me at all. My friend emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later.

The quick hello ended up being an hour and a half of them trying to force cookies on me and me resisting. I did give in to the beer. His parents sparred and debated and towards the end the father kept cutting out his wife's opinions and I cut out the door trying to stay out of a debate on how modern and cosmopolitan cities in the states are, fearing the German's wrath. How do I get myself into these situations? Oh yeah, I am the loud mouth American girl who saccidently starts these debates.

Most of the rest of the evening was me trying to figure out if and how I should express my feelings I have for someone. This meant a 2 hour facebook chat session with two different people. Me making a gushy ass out of myself and regretting and then owning it. All the while wondering if the crystal I received at a party the other night really was giving me magical courage and strength. I held it in my hand for awhile. And, realized it didn't matter about the crystal that if you believe something can give you strength, it could even be an old gym sock, that it will because you will it into existence. Geez, I am turning into a hippie or a psycho and can't tell which is worse. Get me back to the Midwest where we don't have fairy parties we have let's drink until we forget who we are nights.

After the chat session a friend came and knocked on my window. This is not uncommon. What was uncommon was when I went outside and she was not there. Apparently, she had gotten caught up in a bush. She came limping over like a wounded war hero two minutes later. She kept saying, "Did you hear that?" I had been in the hallway when she fell and didn't hear it. But, I can't help but wonder if my neighbors heard that and peeped out their windows to see some girl that they didn't know in the bushes.

Usually when this friend comes over we sit and gossip about boys and snack. This happened tonight as well. She said, "I feel bad. I am eating all your food." I told her it was alright. But, I can't help thinking about how all the alcoholics I have known are always the first to buy you a drink because they are happy you are there so they don't have to drink alone. Somehow that makes it more alright that they are on their 6th scotch of the evening. It's the same when I am on my 89th Goldfish cracker and my friend reaches out for the bag. But, as I eat them now I am feeling like a sow.

-Canadian Castaway