Day 77
This morning I woke up after I looked over at my microwave clock. Usually I can't even see it but today I could read it and it said that it was 9:09. I was going to get up a few minutes before then so I sprung out of bed, despite a mild hangover and ran into the shower. I quickly got ready for breakfast as I had to be there by 9:30. I made the decision to check my facebook account instead of drying my hair. When I turned on my computer I realized that it was only 8:24 am. The daylight savings time happened over a week ago and I thought everything was all set by now, apparently not.
So, I dried my hair and went to breakfast before the time I was even supposed to get up. As it turned out my earliness was a good thing. I sat down with my two favorite Mexican people (they are always laughing and I feel smart cause I can understand half of what they say in Spanish even though they mostly speak in English). When there was a pause in our merriment I noticed my friend following something with his eyes. I turned and saw nothing out the window. I said, "What're you looking at?" Without taking turning his eyes to me he said, "The walk of shame." I said, "What?" he mumbled, "wearing last night's clothes." I looked out the window to see a woman with black boots on, a short skirt and tousled hair. My friend said something like, "You know when you sleep with somebody and you wake up the next day and it's all super awkward and they say to you, 'I have a lot to do today so...' and you leave and it's like 8:30." Our other friend said that it's been a long time since she's had a walk of shame. He turned to her and said, "If you go and have sex with somebody stay until at least 11." She said, "If I find somebody to have sex with he's coming home with me. And, he's doing the walk of shame, not me." And, so concluded breakfast.
This afternoon four girls (including myself) piled into this German man's car and drove to The Canadian Superstore. It's funny when I first arrived here I thought that going to all of the little locally-owned shops would be neat and fun but after a while it turns into a nightmare. Who wants to go to eight different stores to get what you could get at Target in under an hour (except they don't have Target here)? The Canadian Superstore was my commercialism cure-all today. I literally ran around the joint pulling cheap items from the shelves and carelessly tossing them into my paid cart. In fact the only thing I did not like about the superstore was the paid cart. Paying for your plastic bags I can sort of understand but paying to use a cart in a goddamn superstore reaches to the realm of absurdism reserved for not those who do not buy paper towels because they are "bad" for the environment.
So, the first time I went to the Superstore I pulled at the carts outside in their corrals and couldn't seem to free one. Finally, I noticed that they were connected by chains. I looked around for the guy who herds them to free me one, he wasn't around. What happened was a customer came up, stuck a loonie in the cart, put in a key which popped out a key that was connected to the chain that was binding the carts. After witnessing this I pleaded with the stranger for help, knowing that I could not repeat something so complicated until at least my eighth attempt. He expertly did it for me with a Canadian nicety about him and a smug smile knowing that he just saved the day and that he could go home to his wife and tell her about the idiot American girl who didn't know how to unhook a cart. I am pleased to announce that today with a just a tiny bit of help (I put the loonie in wrong the first time and panicked) I was able to free one of these carts, fill it with 140 dollars worth of stuff, return it, AND get my loonie back. That is progress.
After unpacking all of my cheap items I started to try on all of my clothes. Which ended with me listening to 80's death metal, chucking clothes onto the floor and cursing. In an effort to look halfway decent for my outing tonight I curled my hair and borrowed hairspray. It looked wonderful but, I only had one shirt that I had decided (after the great clothes/King Diamond-athon) that wasn't too frumpy. I put it on and told my friend to bring me a black cardigan. Turns out the black cardigan had 3/4 length sleeves. I couldn't bring myself to put a sweatshirt over it and a hat would've wrecked my hair. So I milled around in this sweater with a pair of red mittens while nearly everyone else in this city was wearing winter jackets and scarves and hats. My bodyguard asked me why I hadn't put on one of my hooded sweatshirts to which I replied, "Because, it didn't go with my hair. God, can't I just look pretty for once?" That sounded so much more rational inside my head.
After the improv show we went out for drinks where a guy I know told me that he watches ASL videos on youtube. No, not the kind where you learn American Sign Language, the kind where young gay men sign pop songs in front of their webcams. When I got home he sent me a link and I spent an hour fascinated with one of these guys (Jordan). I went onto his youtube channel and milled around watching videos of him signing songs, I read people's comments telling him how much they love his expression and telling him that he is blessed and I even his autobiographical signed video entitled, "About Me."
The "About Me" video was incredible. In it he said that he learned sign language because one day he may meet "the love of my life," "best friend," or someone who can tell him "the meaning of life" and that person may be deaf. He all of this came to him when he helped a deaf customer somewhere. He was so inspired that he was determined to learn ASL from the internet and joined an ASL club. I learned many other details about him like he is from Quebec and he is pursing a degree in English Lit with a minor in Professional Writing and that he can hear and so can his parents and siblings. This was proven when I watched his "Blooper" video and he sang out loud (this really freaked me out cause at that time I thought he was deaf and he was actually hitting the notes, sort of). His "About Me" video ended shortly after the following lines:
"My life's really not that interesting guys...umm..."
"I'm gay but I have no idea how that's at all relevant."
All in all, I think my hour with him was well spent except when you know about the guy his videos become less funny and more sad. Damn it, guess I'll have to go back to those sick ass videos where people make their husky say, "I love you" for my youtube entertainment.
-Canadian Castaway
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