Day 78
Today I finally applied for healthcare. Everyone thinks that Canada is wonderful for their allegedly "Socialist" healthcare. But yet, you still have to pay like 40 bucks a month for it AND it's mandatory. So, if you had a really hard month what do you do? Not spend your money on Mr. Noodles and starve to meet your monthly fee? I am not entirely sure my understanding of this is correct but these are the facts I am presented with. Also, I am not entirely sure the healthcare is worth even the piddly 40 bucks a month. I know two different people who have had broken bones that never healed correctly and now these people who should've been healed within 4 or weeks or so have to attend whatever the hell, "physio" is for the rest of their lives. Lesson: Don't break any bones in Canada and no matter what pay your health insurance bill because it's against the law to be without it. And that concludes the sermon for today.
Let's see what else...a friend and I grabbed lunch at this Barn place and she said to me, "Look at the guy at your nine o'clock, he's cute." I looked and the guy at my nine o'clock was looking at me wide-eyed. He would've been mildy hot if he wasn't so friggin bug-eyed and didn't have a negative ass. I was shocked she found that attractive. He looked like he'd seen more than he bargained for at the freak show. She kept stealing glances and telling me how hot he was. I would look and he would be looking right at me. I'd turn around but his gaze blazed into the back of my head. This went on for quite sometime until I said, "Why do you think he's so hot?" And she said something about how she liked his facial hair. I looked again at freak show and he stared at me. He didn't have facial hair. I looked back at her with "What?" on my face. "The one by the window,' she said, finally. I looked past freak and sure as shit there was a guy sitting there. Jesus.
When I got home I received a box in the mail. My friend had told me she sent off a box for my birthday I could barely get it back to my room before I started clawing at the packing tape in anticipation of cheap jewelry and yarn. I got out my key and hacked away for only 5 seconds before I popped it open. Turns out it wasn't cheap jewelry it was a huge tin filled expensive candy with it AND popcorn! I pounced right in, covering my face in chocolate mingled with cheese and flecks of caramel corn. It wasn't until just now that I remember yesterday when I tried on all of my clothes and grabbed my stomach in disgust. Oh well, I've been fat for 15 years or so what's a few more days (if the tin lasts that long)? Shit, wouldn't it be awesome if I got another one. Fuck it, one day fat will be the new thin. Well, maybe not, unless, I could get the candy guy to send out tins to everyone in the Western world. Hmm.
Classical music makes me want to punch kittens. I fucking hate it, but tonight I discovered a version of it that I could listen to without making my hands bleed from rage. I discovered the joy that is the flugelhorn. At the residence where I live there was a concert tonight hosted by two trumpet players (that are sleeping together) it was all la-di-dah until they whipped out the flugelhorn. I don't know if it's the name of it or the fact that they told me that the instrument was never allowed in the symphony and played mostly by jazz musicians but I fell in love. Who knew classical music can actually be tolerated? That's it, next year for Halloween I am dressing as a flugelhorn to honor it.
How much of a diva does it make me that I am willing to pay an extra 250 bucks to fly direct for Christmas? Ahh, I'll never be a diva living on student loans. I need me a sugar daddy on a deathbed. Dear Santa...
So after the Latino party I worked at the bar tonight I came home and checked my favorite news source, yahoo.ca. It never lets me down. Here are my favorite headlines of the moment, "World's 'Ugliest'" and "A Violent Birth." The ugliest is about how people in Britain are rejected at a very high rate from beautifulpeople.com. According to that site Swedish men and Norweigan women are usually very beautiful, Germans need to send less stern looking photos, and Russian men and quite fugly.
"A Violent Birth" is a video news story about a shark who was bitten by another shark (referred to as, "Angry Shark") and gave birth to her babies (called "shark pups") through her gaping wound hole. Sadly, this video did not contain the actual birth or the attack from Angry Shark. But it did have what is apparently called a "Animal Husbandry Expert" tell the camera that it is very hard to stitch up a sharks wound because they keep flipping around. Ahh, duh!
-Canadian Castaway
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