Day 82
I learned a lesson this morning: Do not eat too many tater tots for breakfast. But, just because you learn a lesson doesn't mean you'll ever follow it. If it wasn't bad enough that I fully expected to puke before getting to class the 16 dollar umbrella I bought yesterday inside-outed itself in a terrible crosswind and all of the spires broke. I expected for there to be plenty of rain in BC but I never factored in that that meant that I would spend a fortune on umbrellas. I have already been through 4 of them. Okay, one got stolen and one I traded a friend (to acquire the one that got stolen). But, it should be noted that the one I traded became extremely broken and the person I traded it to carried it around anyhow. He said he still carried it because it was the only one he had (since he traded off his nice one to me). But, I know better. He only carried it around to make me feel bad. Bastard. You can never swindle people and have a completely clear conscience. I guess that's why more people aren't criminals.
Let's see class was quite boring until a friend of mine started to shush everyone. The reason so much chatting occurs in this class in the first place is often due to the "sharing" time. It's actually the best part of the whole class anyhow. This part of class was cancelled for one week due to a student sharing that she had had a threesome over the weekend it was reinstated with a PG-13 guideline. I used to think that the teacher initiated this sharing time because she is a total hippie that used to make us sit on the lawn in a circle. I now think she does it because she hates to teach. If we are all talking to each other she doesn't have to say anything at all and the time flies by. Which was all working out fine until a classmate of mine started shushing everyone and saying, "So and So is talking!" and "Be quiet you guys. I mean come on, this is our career take it seriously!" I found this to be incredibly hilarious, but after my laughter died down I realized she was serious. Somebody needs to lighten up I mean come on we are writers the reason we are here is because we don't want to have a career and anybody who says otherwise is a delusional freak who is lying to themselves.
Geez, I sorta went on a rant there. I have been walking the edge of sanity all damn day. If I wasn't a woman and didn't have my period to blame this on I would be on a Zoloft/Valium combo. All of yesterday and today I have felt a little nutty. Supper tonight didn't help. So, a friend of mine (or so I'd thought) who just so happens to be in the Psychology department sat down at my supper table. This is not uncommon as he frequently sits with the group I was with. But, tonight he was holding a piece of paper. Naturally, I tried to snatch it. He wouldn't let me have it.
"Just carry on like I'm not here," he said.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just ahh, talk to people and start some shit and pretend like I'm not sitting here."
I stared him down and fired off: "What? Are you taking notes about us? What are you writing down? What do you have a tape recorder too? Huh? Are you fucking wired? Are you a goddamn spy now?"
What is that a paranoid personality disorder you may ask? Hahaha, no, it's PMS. I am not crazy, right?
"So, I'm just supposed to sit here and pretend like you are not here even though you clearly are and you are not saying anything."
"I need to be less creepy."
"Yeah, a whole lot less creepy."
I then sat in almost silence (I am not some goddamned monkey) and he complained that I let him down. He asked my Hawaiian friend to make a scene, which he did. I told my Hawaiian that he was taking notes. The scene ended with the Hawaiian holding him and saying, "Grab that paper!" But, the little punk got away. He went and sat at another table just looking like a freak with his little paper and pencil.
After our little psychologist friend left my favorite South African came and sat next to me. He told me that him and the soccer team were going to watch a movie in the TV room. I freaked, "What? I was gonna watch the Gilmore Girls in the TV room at nine! I have been waiting all day to watch Gilmore Girls! This is just great! Goddamnit, you've just ruined my entire day. Jesus Christ, all I wanted to do today was watch that show and now it's me against the whole fucking soccer team and I won't win you know I can't stand up to all of you. You know what, fine, that's just fine, you can just have the TV room. And, I'll tell my friend--we've been planning this all week, just so you know--that she doesn't have to come over. Why can't you just watch it on the projector screen?" And, three minutes later he told me that he confirmed that they would watch their movie in the lounge on the projector screen. Sometimes hormones (psychotic disorders, whatever) are a very effective tool in getting what you want if they are aimed at someone who can't stand being in a fight (i.e. most Canadians and South Africans).
Remind me if I start to complain too much sometimes that I am the luckiest girl alive. Not only does my next door neighbor own the entire Gilmore Girls series on DVD she also knows every detail about every Gilmore Girls show and loves talking about them and never, not even once, gets mad when you interrupt the show to speculate on a character's actions. Plus, she goes along with eating all sorts of sweets and talks about boys for hours on end. What more could a girl ask for? Well, besides to get laid every now and again to refuel the conversations. If this whole grad school thing fails at least I will have my fond memories of watching TV with a good friend.
-Canadian Castaway
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