Day 399

Holy shit it's almost been 400 days since I came to Canada and cried at the car rental place. Weird.

Anyway, I must make this quick as I have tons of microfiction to read and edits to be made on my script.

Yesterday's re-cap:

At the beginning of class the extremely flamboyant gay guy told a story about how before every performance his high school drama club used to gather in a room and sniff whatever they could find like all sorts of cleaners and things. He ended the story with, "And then after our performances we would always get such headaches and wonder why." For the remainder of class the teller of this story was called "Sniffer" by the instructor.

I went to my fav coffeeshop to get some work done. When I entered the owner was working and his son was playing nearby with a Thomas train toy. The owner told me two things when I approached the counter: 1. That he wants to kill whoever invented Thomas. and, 2. "Your friend with the long hair is upstairs." Now, I have only been to the coffeeshop WITH my friend along twice and I am pretty sure that the owner would only have been there on one of those occasions, if that. Creepy...look out Thomas creator this guy might be a ninja.

After the coffeeshop I went to the pub to meet my friends. While there I drank beer, almost accidentally made out with a friend of mine, punched another friend every time he coughed, narrowly escaped a poetry slam, made fun of a frat boy to his face, and got elbowed in the boob, twice. All in all it was a pretty dull and tame evening.


Oh and later my brother tried to Skype call me when I was watching an orgy scene from Shortbus.
Today:

Today I went to turn in an assignment and wound up talking to the secretary of my department who gave me a half hour long history lecture on all of the parties and fundraising events she has been a part of during her like 30 years of employ. It was pretty interesting but I couldn't stop staring at her lipstick and wondering if it rubs off easily and what the fuck brand would make a shade like that and how much did she pay for it.

This afternoon my friend in the program was to give a lecture to the undergrad class she TAs for and I went along. I wanted to support her and I wanted to know what the undergrad writing courses are like at this university as I will be a TA in the spring. When I got there I realized that there were like 200 people in that class. The university I went to for my undergrad had at most, 25 per class and at least one of them was sleeping through the whole class. My friend did quite well but the worst part I would imagine for my friend giving the lecture would be the fact that the other TAs gossiped throughout it and one of them doesn't know how to whisper. Fuck, I don't know if I could handle that.

While walking home from the undergrad course I stumbled into a friend of mine who was going to buy the exact same shoes I want to buy. I tagged along with her and when we got to the store I found out that they didn't have any shoes in my size. It's one thing to be too fat and unable to shop at regular clothing stores (me), you can change that, but to be rejected based on your feet being too big is like being slapped in the face if you already had a broken cheekbone.

When I asked the woman at the store, "What does women's size 11 transfer to in European sizes?" She said, "42, but we don't go that high in this store." I was so irate that I threatened to my friend knock over boxes and got really huffy and thought, "Even if you had shoes that fit me in this shithole I wouldn't buy them here." On the bus ride home my friend brought up my angry attitude. I said, "That woman was a total cunt." My friend said, "She tried to help you, she offered to order you shoes to be delivered to the store." Instead of admitting that I was a little wrong about her my response, "I still hate that stupid cunt."

Despite having tons of things to do I spent the majority of my evening looking up the Hollywood hotties I used to buy shitty teen magazines to look at when I was a pre-teen (this was an era before the freakish "tween" word). Turns out that JTT and Devon Sawa are both Virgos. I wish there were some sort of career path I could take that would pay me to know things like that.

Tip of the Day: Chai tea isn't that bad.

-Canadian Castaway