Day 374

This morning I woke up and did tons of chores. I was scrubbing and taking trash out and doing laundry and tidying all morning long without even having a coffee. I guess dark chocolate, Midol, and the fumes from Lysol cleaner are just enough to turn you into a clean machine.

Today I was talking to my mother as she was getting ready for unwanted guests. She said to me, "...and I only have three hours to get the house cleaned up and make a meal and your father is in the shower so he'll probably get out and want to have sex." After I nearly threw up we talked about other things and she said not too much later, "Alright, well, I have to go." To which I said, "Go have sex with dad?" Then she was the one who was silent.

This afternoon I was waiting for my bodyguard to come back from India. I haven't seen him in four months. His new place of residence just so happens to be near the coffeeshop I like so I sat in the window seat like a puppy that nearly jumps every time someone passes by. He didn't show up then and while I got an outline done I went home and realized that I could do my idea better and wondered where my bodyguard could be.

Finally, later in the afternoon, I met up with my bodyguard. He was wearing my favorite shirt and looked fantastic for having traveled for almost two days straight. I hugged him and didn't let go for a long, long time. We went out for his birthday and met some friends at a favorite writer haunt.

At one point I was telling two of the people at the table that I was going to go on the pill again to try and control my periods and so that I don't feel like such an asshole before and during my time of the month. What I didn't realize was that the entire was listening and those at the edges were saying, "What? She's getting back on the pill?" Finally, I looked around the whole table and asked, "I am going on the pill again, is that alright with you?"

Later I got into it with the boyfriend of a writer friend and got a few lectures from different people about how I hate and judge people too easily. Then, as always, people didn't pay enough on the bill and I was one of the people that got stuck having to pay more. And, when I was sick of everyone picking at me my friend made fun of the fact that I was going to cry. Seriously? I wanted to hang around these people? On the walk to the bus I thanked my bodyguard for never being one of those people that was hypercritical of everything I said and for knowing that I am not an asshole. I don't think he realized how much I meant it.

Moral of the story: Take more Midol, don't talk to Canadians who pick apart everything you say and go on and on for hours about how you shouldn't judge things and how you should like everyone.

Tonight I realized that for as many hours of my life I have spent watching and listening to Lady Gaga I had not even looked at her wikipedia page. What kind of little monster am I? Is there some sort of Gaga penance that could be performed for a sin this large?

Alright I am going to bed before the Midol haze wears off.

Tip of the Day: Friends aren't supposed to make you feel like shit all the time.

-Canadian Castaway