Day 378

This morning I was ridiculously productive. The only errand I didn't complete was the one that involved me waiting for over an hour in a line to find out that my US loan hadn't come through, I didn't think I needed to bother with that news yet. I got keys and went to the bank and set up direct deposits and bought books and visited my bodyguard's new place. From there he and I went for lunch where I told him I have so many jobs because I am cute. His response, "You are cute." And, he gave me a box of Darjeeling tea. I love my bodyguard. How the frakload did I live without him for four months?

Tonight I avoided going to another dreaded formal dinner. Formal dinner, as I understand it, is a whole lot of people getting dressed up and eating dinner that contains more seafood than usual while having to listen to speeches. The part that kills me though is that it is served buffet-style. I mean seriously? You want to have a fancy dinner and act like it's Old Country Buffet. Weird. There is no Old Country Buffet here. I bet it's because there are no cheap fat people here which would also explain why there is no Wal-mart and why there is an overabundance of yoga studios. Hmm...

Anyway, this next section I'd like to title: How I wasted 4 hours of my life not listening to speeches at a fancy dinner:

-Went out and ate a pita sandwich that had so much mustard in it that I thought I was going to be sick.

-Went to the library and realized that it was too quiet to be in. I put my bag down on a table and got a dirty look.

-Decided that if I ever make money I want to start a Family Guy channel so I don't have to worry about whether or not it will be on.

-Did some emailing and letter drafting. I am a very important lady, you know. I am even called "HBIC" Translation: Head Bitch in Charge.

-Invited the guy who I saw in a nightdress to be on gmail chat with me even though he wears a nightdress.

-Texted the flirty 21 year old at work I'd like to ravage. He didn't write back.

-Had my mother hang up on me.

-Realized that I AM still the girl I was in high school. My neighbor and I went to pick up our dinners that we had packaged for us. On the walk over she was saying our building was just like high school. I told her in high school I used to go two towns over to hang out.

-Got a text from the night dress boy telling me that I am a "boring lady" for not going to the fancy dinner.

-Chatted at my bodyguard on gmail chat. This means that I know he left his chat on and I bombarded it with a massive amount of lines including things like, "lalalala" and, "Who is your favorite character on Friends?"

All in all a pretty good evening. I think I will do another Family Guy check and go and read things that make me laugh out loud.

Ohh before I forget, I tweeted today. I suck at Twitter but once and awhile, usually when I am alone and think of something nasty to say I tweet it in. Today's tweet:
"I dont know much about fashion but if spandex has to stretch you probably shouldnt be in it."

Tip of the Day: Don't do drugs if you are over 25.

-Canadian Castaway