Day 394

So, I am hacking up a lung here and tired so I will make this super brief:

Woke up watched Kids in the Hall (Canadian duty) and then went to the bank and to the drugstore because as soon as my mother hears that I am sick she commands me to go and purchase many types drugs. As soon as I exited the drugstore I ripped open the box containing my Robitussin knock-off. Turns out that it doesn't come with a measuring cup--I am going to blame this on it being Canadian. I took a couple swigs from the bottle right outside the store, like a drug addict. Later my mother told me I need to get cough syrup laced with Codeine. Who's the drug addict now?

I finished another script today (could've been due to the Robo-tripping).

Went to my pal's house to eat mac and cheese which also involved drinking a bottle of red and having my tarot cards read to me. Turns out that I am super creative and original and am paving new ways and I will be selfish and have creativity and this, if I let it, will let me take over the world.

Went to a party at my friend's new house. Here are a few things that happened at said party:

-Found out that guys who wear shirts that read, "Mr. Happy" on them are douche bags.

-In other news guys who think they know everything about tarot are also douche bags.

-My friend from high school came to the party. Her roomate looks like she could kill me and I forgot to tell them the party was BYOB. Frig.

-When I drank from the bottle of my Robitussin at the party I yelled, "Don't judge me!" to a whole bunch of strangers.

-Found out that guys from the Yukon Territory are hot and hardcore. It gets to -56 degrees there.

-A girl in a top hat gave me a Sharpie tattoo of a heart with a "Mother" banner on it which I thought looked super cool until no one could read the "Mother" inscription and I realized that I was showcasing around my upper arm fat.

-If your Chinese friend isn't feeling good don't make racist jokes.

Then my friend and I waited for forty minutes for a bus with a guy who looked like Jesus. We were staring into the windows of a congee restaurant, until they pulled the blinds on us.

Later, I met a friend of mine on the bus. Turns out she was going to a booty call. I told her, "Good luck" when she got off the bus.

Tip of the Day: The "Take every six hours" label is obviously for pussies.

-Canadian Castaway