Day 387

The internet died at my house late last night and I was hoping it would revive but have had no such luck. I did write a bit of a blog before I gave up and went to bed without so much as seeing if I have any new friend requests so, without further bitchery, here is the blurb from last night:

A few lessons learned from today:

-If you get lost on the way to your friend's house just pop off at another friend's house and you will get there in time for his boyfriend to come out of the bedroom wearing white and your friend will take one look at him and say, "Umm, you are not wearing white."

-If you get invited to a comedy show that takes place in the basement of a hotel and when you walk into the club they are playing Ke$ha you should not be curious and think, "Wow, this could get interesting..." The comedy may be alright but the fact that they don't allow the sexily-dressed servers serve people a glass of water because they want you to spend three dollars to buy a bottle of water and the fact that they blast deafening music the second the headliner is off the stage so that you leave and leave angry should keep you away. No wonder there were like 10 security guards there at the ready—to break up fights that arise from the worst guitar noise coupled with hemorrhoids and dehydration. Going to a comedy show is like going on survivor.

-Turns out that the people in doorways that I gave icy fuck you looks to out of fear when I was walking to the bus stop tonight weren’t actually creepers, they were hiding out from the rain. All that paranoia and I haven’t even smoked weed in years.

-One of the comedians I saw tonight was a cute Jewish guy from New York (p.s. I think ALL Jewish guys are cute). When I got home I went on Facebook and looked him up. I wrote him a personal message stating that we are both from the same home state. I knew this because I peeped his profile, not because I actually talked to him. I love social networking. I mean what did we do before Facebook was around to stalk strangers and profess our love to them? Did we actually have to talk to people in person or live in regret of having not spoken to our potential love interests? Shitty.

Tip of the Day: Ask your friends for an umbrella if you are visiting them and it is raining outside because it would be bad form for them to NOT give one to you.

-Canadian Castaway