Day 160
Today I OD'd on what is called, "Family Digestive Biscuits" (translation: fancy word for shortbread-ish cookies with fake chocolate on one side). I am wondering what "Digestive Biscuits" means? Is that Canadian for cookie? Or a marketing tool that might come off to the idiot consumer as "healthy"? At any rate they are really not that tasty and it only took me one row to figure that out. And before you eat each cookie you read, "DIGESTIVE" written on it and I don't know about anyone else but when I think of digestion it always leads to shit and I don't really want to think about shit when I am eating a cookie, especially a cookie with a brown side.
Other exciting things happened today like I made my neighbor, who lives in my building, video chat with me. I suppose we could've went to each others' rooms and made funny faces but somehow it is so much more fun with a webcam. There is something I really enjoy about watching my own face. The added bonus is that if you don't want to talk to someone anymore you don't have to think of an exit line before leaving you can just click it off. Plus, you only chat with people you confirm as people you want to talk to. In fact, if I just stayed in my room and used google talk video chat as my only communication for my residence hall I could avoid a whole ton of excess talking. You know, the kind of politeness that is expected when you co-habitate somewhere and Lord knows how this happened but fake pleasantries have taken over for truthful declarations of hatred (what a ridiculous world we live in).
So, I spent the last hour looking for my doppelganger online (I really need better time management skills). I looked at everyone from Michelle Williams to Sebastian Bach of Skid Row and nobody really looks like me. I looked at authors like S.E. Hinton and Grace Metalious. I looked at fat girls like Mama Cass (too fat, sorry Mama). I wished that I looked more like Dame Edna or Sailor Moon but I don't. I even accidentally came across a terrifying pic of Tammy Faye Baker. In a way I am kinda glad that no one looks like me but yet, I feel so all alone.
Just when I had finally convinced myself that I was going to walk over to my friends house which involves going through a barely lit scary rose garden my mother said to me on the phone, "Don't go." I asked her why and she said, "Just don't go tonight--I have a bad feeling about the whole thing." So, I believed her and promised I'd stay in. Sometimes my mother gets this weird tone like she is a psychic and makes proclamations of this variety and I always except them and believe then and forget that she is on pain killers and probably drinking wine. Who knows though, maybe Vicodin and Oxycodone give you supernatural abilities.
Derby Training Day 11:
I skated really fast across my room and played with my wrench tool. I tightened and loosened the same wheel until it got boring (2 minutes). I also read the letter that came from the chick in charge of the derby here and it said that the most important thing to do is skate and don't give up and stay away from traffic. I am taking these ideas under advisement and am wondering if wearing my mouthguard would make me feel like a badass.
Most people I know have thesis advisors that don't really pay attention to them. I used to think this was unfortunate. I was wrong. If your thesis advisor doesn't send you emails asking what you are up to and how you are doing with your project you can just forget about your thesis for awhile. Granted it won't go away, but you wouldn't be experiencing panic or having to contemplate ways to say that you are just plain lazy and unoriginal so that it doesn't sound like I am lazy and unoriginal.
Tip of the Day: When you are so bored in class that you are trying to decipher what the toddler four flights down and outside is saying it may be time to get on psychostimulants.
-Canadian Castaway
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