Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Mourning Morning, Rowling and Rowling and Rowling, Teasing Tea, Super McFlurry, Valentines Disaster Continues, Evening Excitement

Day 181

I've decided to take a new approach to residence hall communal breakfasts: bring a book and an I-pod. Also, I think instead of choosing the table with the most people I know I will choose one with the least amount of people I know and not talk to them so they will stay that way. If this tactic goes well I may continue it into supper. I don't hate people, I just hate talking to people. Anyway, the whole point in me even waking up for breakfast, besides eating what I pay for, is to get some "work" done. Work as in writing and/or reading my course materials. What getting up for breakfast actually involves is me looking at the clock and thinking, 'Damn, it's early. I could watch an episode of Gilmore Girls and still have time to be productive.' What I never realize is that doing this will lead to watching over an hour of youtube videos, looking at the clock and thinking, 'Shit, it's lunch time.'

The youtube videos of today consisted of an interview series with author, JK Rowling. Now, I have never read an entire book of Harry Potter, but I find her rags to riches tale quite appealing. I learned quite a few things from watching these interviews with JK, but perhaps the most valuable thing I learned is that when you click onto a youtube video that says "Part 1" and "BBC" expect that there will be around 7 parts and each part will be 8 minutes long. Holy shit, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. But, I stuck it out until the end. And, I also watched her famous Harvard commencement speech as well (all three parts). Does this make me a Rowling addict, or am I just avoiding life (trick is, they are one in the same)?

So today I started drinking. No, not alcohol, I've been doing that since I was 14. I am talking tea. I drank 5 different varieties of tea. Let me tell you, tea is way cheaper than booze but it doesn't make you crazed, it just makes you feel like a yuppie. I just hope that I don't turn into one of those prissies who spends 10 bucks a gram at a special store. I think I'm alright as long as I stick to the pre-bagged bullshit. The only problem is that teabags can lead to harder stuff like loose leaf and snobbery. But, I could make a killing starting a for profit support group.

The only other beverage (well, besides the 5 cups of coffee that get me to move in the morning, okay 6) I had today was an ice cream one filled with candy bits. I walked 8 blocks in the rain to get a McFlurry. And, if that isn't bad enough, I wrote about it on my facebook status update and as my gmail chat custom text. Should I be proud of the fact that I walked a considerable distance in the rain to get a treat at McDonalds? Probably not. But one day the world will see that it is my super power. I will be the newest superhero on the block. I will be Super Addicted to McFlurrys Girl and I will have a costume with stretchy purple tights and a pocketful of coupons for free McFlurrys. Now all I gotta do is wait for my time to come and think about how my abilities could save the world.

Okay, so the guy that I had the disasterous date of the century date with is still not taking the hints that I am not speaking to him. For some reason being really snappy on chat and outright ignoring him in person doesn't take ahold. He is someone who has multiple advanced degrees and therefore is an example of how fucked up education makes some people. My bodyguard/life coach told me that I need to tell him I am not talking to him or he will just keep bothering me. I have yet to do this for fear it start with me giving him a lecture on everything he has done wrong (which could easily take a whole day of non-stop yammering) and end with me punching him in the eye before I get to the I-never-want-to-talk-to-you-again-dumbass part. It's times like this that I wish I had a body double to do my dirty work. Perhaps I could take the hands off approach though and just egg his door, spraypaint my initials on it and leave a garden gnome. A few friends of mine from high school used to commit random acts of vandalism and had a trunkfull of stolen garden gnomes and they left one at the scene of every crime as their calling card. Somehow this seems appropriate, and badass to me but I am afraid he still won't take the hint.

So instead of going across town to a Holland-themed party with friends I decided to stay home, put on my PJs before 8:30 and watch TV online. The highlight of my evening was facebook chatting with a friend about sex toys (she's 'not picky') and her grandkid. My other chat conversations were 1. swapping Lady Gaga lyrics and 2. my friend telling me that Lady Gaga is "the worst assault on pop music since the Spice Girls..." I can't tell if that is good or bad. In my evening of fun I also looked up McFlurry on wikipedia which came up under the heading, McDonald's Products. Under the McFlurry there was a list called, "Discontinued menu items." I spent 30 minutes reading through this graveyard of delights. Here are a few favorites, McDLT, McFeast, McDogs, McLean Deluxe, McPizza, and McStuffin. Along with the Mc items my favorite from the list is called a hulaburger. The hulaburger was a slab of pineapple on a bun created for catholics to eat during lent.

Tip of the Day: Liking someone solely based on the fact that they have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle smile isn't wrong.

-Canadian Castaway

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