Day 172
I am going to confess right now that I am a huge Valentine's Day fan. I am a freak about it. I buy all sorts of treats and wear red and pink. Shit, I even get excited about finding used red Christmas ribbon to tie into my hair. The funny thing is that I am not all that into giving out gifts (except to myself) but I love receiving them. This fact made it all more the horrible when I skipped hopefully to mailbox only to have it be completely empty. I felt like Charlie Brown (except I didn't check my mailbox 12 times and I am not yet a cartoon character, entirely).
My official Valentines Day celebration began after 3 pm (slept until then). The first thing I did was go to the grocery store to buy salami and coffee. This was a decent start to my V-day celebration. After that I went to supper where it was VAFN (vaguely asian food night) for the 124th time. But, everything was supposed to be okay because I was to go on a date with someone who is super into me (so I'd been told). The last time I had a Valentine's Day date (doesn't matter how long ago, right?) I ended up with four thorny roses and a mohawked boyfriend. This was fun for quite awhile, until he decided to not call me anymore, but whatever dry-humping on his parent's floor and drinking grape juice while watching Monty Python was getting a little old.
Point is, I had a date who was "excited" to be going out with me. The plan was to go have coffee after supper. But, "after supper" could've been defined better by him as: "an hour after Emily is done eating and when I am finally done talking to the girl that is easy to have a crush on." But he is a "nice" person so there were no such definitions. Anyway, instead of sticking to our plans he decided that we should just hang out here after a 15 minute long debate on what to do. God, I felt so important, nothing like abandoning your very vague plans at the last second for no reason to impress a girl. And to really top it off don't get flowers, or a card. And don't put any effort into making any sort of plan at all because you wouldn't want the woman you've been whispering sweet nothings to for months to get the idea that she means anything. (Does that sound bitter? Yes? Good.)
So, after he decided that he would just come over he gets here and brings hot chocolate (which, btw, I hate). I make his cup and he said that some people in the building are watching a movie in 15 minutes and did I want to go. I told him that I didn't and that I thought we were hanging out but if he himself wanted to go that's fine. He made a show of, "No, I'll hang out with you." Then he proceeded to tell me that my staying out until 4 am is crazy and that he is in bed by 11. I offered that we play cards. He agreed to learn a new game, so we headed to a place in the building with a table where I tried (unsuccessfully) to teach this man, with multiple college degrees, a simple card game and he refused to shuffle. Jesus. If that wasn't bad enough he slammed John Wayne and every Western film I like (what do Canadians know about cowboys, really). I can't lie, when a friend came up and announced that she would be watching the movie and asked if we wanted to join her and he decided that "we" would like to I was a little relieved. I was even more relieved when I snuck out the side door and went back to my room.
After this is when I received my Valentines. They came in the form of chats and instead of "Be Mine" or "I love you" they said; "He sounds like a sulky fool to me." "He's an idiot." "Has he hit puberty yet?" "Dorkus." After that Valentine's started pouring in, including in the form of a neighbor who came over and said all sorts of things about how my date is a fuck up. And I realized that I am not Charlie Brown because I realized that Valentine's can come in the form of encouraging co-hatred. In that sense, this has been the most successful V-day in my personal history I just wish I had some Conversation hearts to crunch on.
Well, tomorrow is Tater Tot and Bacon Breakfast day so I better sign off and get my ass to bed. I wish I didn't know that.
Tip of the Day: Never make Valentine's day dates, ever.
-Canadian Castaway
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