Day 182
The saga of me and the Valentines Day disaster date was finally drawn to a finish this morning. I couldn't take not saying anything anymore so I sent him a message asking him why he ditched out on me after he called me ohhh so special for months. He pulled the "I didn't know it was a date"/"You are special to me" card on me so I pulled the trump, "I think we are better as friends." Apparently, he was holding the higher trump as he responded with the, "I agree" card. Then I forgot what was so fun about playing cards and still wanted to egg his door.
Today I went to a local pub to see the Canada vs. Russia hockey game. The entire place was crawling with Canadians who popped up after every goal scored. This turned out to be quite the workout with 7 goals in total. After I knew that Canada was going to win (first half of the first period it was pretty obvious) I got bored with the whole thing. The only exciting thing was looking across the table at the "I love you if you are thin and female" guy from my rez thinking, "I can't wait until the U.S. stomps you for the medal." Thinking this was fun but saying to a friend at dinner, quite loudly, "I want the U.S. to play Canada for the medal so I can literally shove (insert assholes name here) in the fucking dirt," was much better, especially when I realized that he was sitting just a few seats away. But seriously, "shove his face in the dirt" where do I come up with this shit. Is that threatening?
So this evening was spent watching a documentary about Rumspringa. Rumspringa (according to the documentary) is when Amish kids turn 16 and all start smoking cigarettes, living in trailers, fucking around, getting drunk, driving shitty cars, and taking drugs. So basically, the Amish people let their kids go out and be kids, but here's the catch--when I was out raising hell as a teen I wasn't afraid that I was actually going to hell. These kids are doing all of this crazy stuff and some of them even look the part of a normal American teen except that there is an expiration date on their fun, one that makes them decide whether or not they want to pledge to the church (one Amish man said that being Amish is to stop questioning and give up) and go to heaven and still be in touch with their families or go out into the wild world and fend for yourself and go to hell. My question is: what exactly do these kids imagine hell to be like? It must be pretty terrible if around 90% of these kids go back and pledge to the church. But, that other 10%, what does their hell look like?
I watched the documentary with a few friends in the TV room of my rez hall. During the movie the girl that I cannot stand decided that she should come in and watch the flick as well. This would've been okay except that instead of watching the movie she was talking on and on about things that we a. already knew or b. didn't care about. Seriously, I would rather watch movies on my laptop than deal with her comments. I should send her on a Rumspringa maybe the know-it-all would lighten up and shut the hell up if she was boozed and drugged. Watching movies in the TV room here is like having brothers and sisters who come into the room when you have friends over, except you can't beat them up and there over a 100 of them.
After the documentary two of my friends stuck around and we surfed channels and talked. We covered a wide range of topics including:
-How ridiculous Spin Gym machines are.
-How we love infomericals. My favorite the Ron Jeremy penile enlargement pill one.
-What the exact rules of Supermarket Sweep were.
-How there is no cake decorating show on when you need it.
-The Killer Whale that actually kills people is ironic and scary.
-How many women Gene Simmons has slept with. This I had to look up when I got back to my room: around 4600.
-How someone from Arkansa is called a: Arkansan.
-Octomom and whether or not she is insane and how insane is she and how disgusting her lips are.
-How sad it would be to be the guy from the boot-your-car show.
-We watched a blonde Jodie Sweetin look-alike newscaster to see her fake smile.
-How I think the Bounty Hunter dude is kinda cute. (Nobody ever agrees with me)
As you can see we pretty much just covered the essentials.
Tip of the Day: Don't wear the hat everyone is passing around at the dinner table because you risk not only head lice, but someone calling you a trucker and meaning it.
-Canadian Castaway
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