Day 186
Today I finally did it. I unfriended someone. Actually, I enjoyed it so much that I went ahead and unfriended someone else. The first unfriending is a guy who hit on me over facebook chat for months and then pretended like it was nothing but friend talk. (Note: I never compare my friends with goddesses) Now, he's back and wants to chat. Ha! Not anymore. The second victim of my unfriending kick off was a girl I never really talked to in high school. She wasn't a bad person, then. Little did anyone suspect that she would grow up to be the kind of person who would get a low rent mutual funds position and solicit clientele by befriending people who went to her same high school and sending them a generic, yet overly friendly message asking them to invest. With two friends less I don't feel unpopular, I feel free. Tomorrow, I think I'll take on that asshole I liked once who flaunted it in my face as though he was too good for me. Perhaps I'll leave a nasty message on his wall as a parting gift. Hopefully, his mom is a friend of his so she can know he does coke and that's probably why he lost so much weight recently.
Most of today was spent eating things and watching things. Specifically, eating a chicken sandwich that was nearly nine bucks and not worth it and watching the Winter Olympics amongst Canadians. The hockey game was first and then the Closing Ceremonies. Here are the highlights of the day:
Hockey:
-I didn't happen to have an American flag t-shirt lying around or any red, white, and blue face paint so I had to make due with a Captain America t-shirt. But, later I added a flag to make a cape. I liked the cape flag so much that I thought about wearing it daily. But, in Canada country that would not only make me unapproachable (which would be fine) but also I would be the butt of heckling from drunken Canadians. A pity, because the stars are so beautiful.
-Watching the game with a whole bunch of Canadians was exciting. The only downfall (besides that we lost) was every time the Canadian team had a near miss at a goal the Canadian fans made a whole lot of racket, often drowning out my "Yay!"
-I realized that I suck at cheering at sporting events on TV. Who knew this was a skill? I am wondering if my lack of enthusiasm comes from loathing the blockheads who yell at TV screens. Next time, I think I will just get a horn to blow. Not only would that be effective cheering, it would piss off a whole lotta people.
-I learned that throwing a tinfoil ball at a loud mouth Canadian's head from across the room is challenging and fun plus, it elicits nasty looks from people. This reminds you who your real friends are.
-The U.S. goal in the final seconds of the game to tie it up was exciting. I must say that I did want the U.S. to win, mostly so I could shove this idiot half-Canadian's face in the dirt. Then, I realized that I could shove his face in the dirt just based on his character and that Canada winning gold in their homeland is pretty fucking meaningful. Now, before you scream traitor in my face, you must realize the excitement in seeing thousands of Canadians with leaves on their faces, leaping like they'd won the lottery. This kind of pride is beyond touching, and almost infectious to be near. I nearly succumbed to it myself. It looked like fun. But, I stuck true to my country and was mildly heartbroken and a little bitter. I am not yet a Canadian.
Closing Ceremony:
-I still have no idea who that Nikki whats-her-face is and I still don't like her. But really, how hard is it to learn to lip sync?
-This ceremony with it's "I'm sorry" routine and parade of ridiculous Mounties, inflated animals, and hockey players makes me proud to be in the company of people who can make fun of themselves. For the first time ever, I think I understood what it must be like to be Canadian, and honestly, it ain't bad. Now, let's just see if Shatner was right about the Canadians ability to "make love in a canoe" before I convert.
-Alanis Morrisette lip syncing is the saddest thing in the world. And, she really sucks at it.
-Where was Shawn White during all of this hoopla? Did anyone notice that him and Johnny Weir were not on camera at all during the closing ceremony? Were they not invited? Is Shawn just bored with this whole thing? Did Johnny have nothing to wear?
-Is Nickelback really something that Canada should flaunt?
-I was super excited to see Avril but somehow her music didn't seem to fit into the ceremonies. I don't think that stealing someone's boyfriend has anything to do with downhill skiing. But, maybe I just don't get it.
-My all-time favorite moment of the Closing Ceremony was when one of the Canadian commentators said that Russia's part of the program that promoted the Sochi games was Russia meets Avatar. Is that a compliment? Is that a slight? Everyone I know who saw Avatar said that it was pretty, but the story sucked. What does that say about Russia?
Well, the rest of my evening was spent on the phone with my mother alternately hearing her shout at the dog and my father. And yet, I think that was more exciting than reading the personal essays I was assigned.
Tip of the Day: Don't be on your cellphone when the cute guy at the burger shop wants to talk.
-Canadian Castaway
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