Day 168
So this morning I was faced with a decision: do I keep the baby or not. Just kidding. The choice was to sleep more or drag my ass to breakfast. I chose food. This was a stupid choice, but I did hear something this morning. I heard that a friend of mine who wrote a raunchy text to another friend of mine wrote her a text the next day saying that I had taken his phone, written, and sent the raunchy text of the night before. From this experience I learned the following:
1. The guy who wrote that is a dickwad.
2. I have no idea what is going on, ever. Seriously, this shit went down over a week ago and this is the first I have heard of it.
3. While him doing this to me is him being a dickwad this tactic could be invaluable when you drunkenly text someone something horrid or embarrassing. But, you should text the person you blame first to let them know you are using them as your scapegoat, unless you are bored and want to start a mini-drama (like dickwad).
Most of my daytime hours were spent driving. That's right, bleotchs, someone lent me a car. Anyway, the best part about driving across town was when there was public service-type announcement encouraging the citizens of this city to take the bus or walk places. It made me feel like such a defiant bad ass to be driving a Taurus. This is the only circumstance I have come across where a Taurus driver is allowed to feel bad ass in anyway. (Note: Drivers of things like Astrovans are NEVER allowed to feel even the slightest hint of bad assery)
All of this driving led me to the high school where I am currently co-teaching an after school program with an outspoken friend of mine. Generally, I am just as outspoken but at this school I mostly just have an inner running monologue that goes exactly like this: "Don't say fuck. Don't say shit. Don't say fuck. Don't say shit." Today was a special day though, not only was I driving myself over there, but my co-teacher had to ditch out on me, and left me to deal with the 16-18 year olds on my own (I guess this is what you do if your boyfriend is closing on a house). I kept telling myself it was no big deal. But here is what came in between my everything-is-going-to-be-fine self encouragements: "Don't say fuck. Don't say shit. Don't say fuck. Don't say shit."
I went in there hoping to see only a couple kids, what I saw was a whackload (Canadian term meaning a lot) of kids pulling together tables to make room for the horde. I handed out my printouts on first sentences, they did a free write, they shared their writing, they laughed and we spent most of our time talking about marijuana. A couple of the kids are on a debate team that is looking at whether or not to legalize marijuana and we offered ideas to the group and had a mock debate of our own. It was then I realized that my entire life has been a lie. I always strut around acting like I don't care if people like me, but now I must amend this attitude as I totally care whether or not high school kids like me. I wondered if it was bad that I let them go on and laugh and talk about pot and Kanye West? But, when they stayed late and were all smiling I didn't care. When they demanded that our writing group meet every week instead of every other I felt like I was prom queen and damn being royalty feels good.
So last night I couldn't get my fan to work. I turned it on and the motor sounded like a machine gun. Then I would think, Oh, I'll just turn it off and back on and it won't make that noise anymore. I turned it off and back on and it made the same noise and I moved on to the thought, If I put it on the higher setting it may not make that noise. I put it on a higher setting and it made the same noise, but louder. This pattern of the same thoughts and tests went on and repeated for a half an hour. I kept at it because I can't sleep without the fan running. I know this is so friggin un-green of me but I can't do it. Shit, I can't pay attention in my favorite class if someone is sitting next to me can you imagine me falling asleep being able to hear all sorts of small noises? But, once again my favorite 15 dollar antique saved the day. At about 4 am my 1980's refrigerator kicked in and started to hum and I fell asleep. Not only does it keep my wine cold it saves the night. I am considering ditching my Valentine date to take my fridge out on the town. Alright, it's running right now, so I better get to bed or have the war with the fan Part 2.
Tip of the Day: Eyeball-shaped lychee make excellent items to throw across a dining hall.
-Canadian Castaway
No comments:
Post a Comment