Day 405

Today I called my dad and he asked me how school was going. I told him that I was really busy and was having my writing workshopped three times this week. I explained to him, without him asking me to do so, that workshopping is when a roomful of people read your work and then make comments on it and you sit there and listen. After I reminded him that I was speaking to him he retorted, "Well, you don't be a whiny asshole about taking a little criticism. You be nice and listen to what others have to say, okay?" "Dad, I have been doing this for years I can take a little criticism," I said. Then he said, "No--no you can't, you never have been good at it. But you had better take it and not be a whiny asshole. I know you and I know how you are."

A little while later I went to my class and it came my turn for workshop. This is a playwriting class so members of the class took roles and read my play aloud. The reading itself was brilliant. People laughed and the woman who I thought would botch up the role of the split personalities character played it marvelously. And then, I was told the following: the story of it sucks, the characters are cliches, my female characters are demeaning, the ending is shit, and my personal favorite, "The dialogue is outdated."

Later, after I'd grinned through it all and went home to drop my bag off before meeting friends at the bar and trying not to cry like a little bitch troll, I thought about my situation and turns out my dad is right. If the thought that he might be right wasn't enough the fact that I whined all night to my friends about how workshopping sucks and I suck and everything sucks (even though it really doesn't) proves I am a whiny asshole. And, if I keep it up, which according to my father I have been like this since the age of 4 or so, I just may die of annoying myself and having my father in the constant state of being right. Frig.

Sadly and in a way luckily, one of my friend's who I was out with tonight had an allergic reaction to something. This horrific event finally made me realize that all I was doing was bitching all night and the fact that my friend who was seeing spots and nearly passing out was a waaaay bigger deal than what a buncha undergrad kids said about my play in class, despite having laughed their asses off at it. Plus, it was nice to be able to help someone else for a change and she, with her allergic reaction probably gave my friends a way to see me in a new light and to realize that I am not just a whiny asshole, I am a whiny asshole who will do anything to help her friends out when they should need anything.

Tip of the Day: Stay in if you are going to take out your whiny asshole bitch troll-iness out on the people who you care about and who (used to) respect you.

-Canadian Castaway