Day 309
Turns out Canada is kind of annoying and hugely boring. Details to follow...
This morning I woke up and panicked. The fellowship I am applying for requests a minimum of three letters of recommendation. As of this morning I only had confirmation on one instructor to write one for me and another instructor told me to write a letter for her and she would edit it and send it off. I sent out email reminders to two people I asked to write letters for me and my favorite professor responded that he would. This was great news. But there is a problem, what the hell am I going to write for the letter writer that I am ghostwriting for? Should I be more subtle? How do you compliment yourself just enough to not seem obnoxious? How do you compliment yourself and make it sound like your instructor realistically saying it. Oh wait, I know how, first be in a writing program where you make shit up all the time and second, procrastinate until the last possible moment doubting your abilities the entire time and finally, write a letter that you are ridiculously proud of and doesn't suck.
My first stop on Canada Day was to the hair salon. My hair lady and I chatted for awhile and in the back of my mind I thought, does she really want to chat? Is this the fake shit that hairdressers have to do? I convinced myself otherwise, plus I want to think she doesn't tell everyone else about her True Blood addiction and tell them they have beautiful eyes. Anyway, after awhile she leaned in and said in a secretive-type voice, "So I had a customer the other day and I was kind of going on to her about how sick I am of this neighborhood and how everyone is always going on and on about yoga. Ugh. And then the lady paused for a long time and finally said, 'You know, you need to be more careful, you could offend someone talking like that.' Then it was weird for awhile and she finally told me that she had just joined a yoga class." I laughed and looked in the mirror to see that I had what my Korean friend refers to as the "The Token Asian Haircut." I almost jumped out of the chair at short bobbed length of it. With a little adjustment to the bangs my hairdresser said, "There, I am so going to hit on you when I see you on the street." Does she tell that and the yoga story to everyone?
I went to a market-y part of town this afternoon as it was the only place that my friend had heard about for Canada Day festivities. My friend was supposed to meet me there at 3 and showed up a Gelato and a walk later (3:41). The only festive things that were going on were an inexplicable woman on stilts and a guy with bagpipes. My friend walked slowly through the market and stopped frequently which goes against my cut-through-the-crowd-swiftly-like-ninja mentality. This made me feel a little less bad when she nearly vomited when I was purchasing meat. It is really hard to imagine I was vegetarian for seven years. Had I known how much fun it is to gross out vegetarians I would've quit that shit years ago.
At the Canada Day party tonight there was a woman who was dating a man and the man was calling himself gay. The girl in the couple was super soft spoken but easily offended. Basically, she was the type of person who doesn't watch Roseanne (basically a snooty betch). The male though had lived in my home state and had grown up in Maine where "Lobster was the thing all my rich friends ate while my family had food stamps" and he liked me tons. Anyway, the odd couple brought yam burgers they were very orange so I decided to eat one. I don't know what it is about orange things but I always want to consume them. Which makes it awkward to be around my one of my friends who always wears orange and Tigger. The yam burgers fell apart on the grill and made a mess but, if you put enough mustard on them they were fabulous.
The party itself lacked a certain festive vibrancy and myself and only one other person were dressed in red. We watched a whole bunch of music videos and some old videos from the Canada film people. Then I remarked, "Gawd, Canada Day is so much more boring than I expected it would be." A Canadian responded, "Yeah well normally on Canada Day we sit around and talk about how much we are glad to not be a part of the U.S."
On the bus ride home I was supposed to be talking to a friend of mine but wound up in a conversation with a 5 year old from Arizona. He had just been to see Karate Kid and was all toothless and told me the entire end of the film and told me that people who are 18 are old. I said, "Really, I'm 18. I guess I'm really old." His grandma looked at me surprised. "You are only 18?" she said with either words or her eyes, I can't remember which. "No, I'm older." She looked at me and she was certainly not laughing that I lied to the kid. Then I realized that I should never lie to kids, then I shamed myself. Then I remembered this kid from the Post Office this week and when he was told it was Wednesday he responded, "Why?" and I fell in love with all kids, especially the tow-headed movie spoiler who I had just lied to.
I met up with my friend who has been at a conference for a few days in my building on the way home from the bus stop. Turns out that the Geography Department people enjoy the shitty campus bar instead of going out. There is exactly one hot Geographer. And, my friend not only gets literally twitchy when he is drunk (and blames it on your perception), he gets super laid back. He told me that his reservation in my building runs out tomorrow and he will be staying until the day after. When I asked him where he would stay he gave me a speech about how when he is traveling alot lately he just "rolls with it" and doesn't worry about a thing. He then mentioned that he might stay with a professor of his or with me but he didn't know which but "it's not a big deal at all." Pretty sure due to the sheer size of my room staying with me is a big deal, especially if you are a twitchy giant. And maybe the people he is staying with like to plan and don't "roll with it" all too well. Damn it, I bet that fucker'll be staying here I am such a pushover.
Tip of the Day: Mac and Cheese powder on popcorn is tasty.
-Canadian Castaway
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