Day 308
Two of my favorite things just happened:
1. I killed a spider. I am never to pleased with them entering my room but when I get the guts up to kill them it's a rush. Does that make me borderline homicidal?
2. I did something unexpectedly and truly inappropriate. So, I just got home from a party at which one of my gay male friends was going on and on about how my bodyguard (straightest guy I know) is a good kisser as they kissed goodnight one drunken night No tongue. On the lips. Since my bodyguard is in India and it is only 1:35 pm there and since there is nothing to do in India until night time because it is too hot to go out I found him on gmail. Here is what is our IM conversation:
Me: "(Our friend) was drunk and talking about how you are a good kisser. hahahaa.
PAUSE
Bodyguard: haha good one, that was my mother at the computer her head is now probably swimming with gayness
Me: hahahahha no way!
Bodyguard: yup way
Am I bitter? Or do I have good taste? Who cares, I am just going to come out and say it: I am fucking sick of Glee-ified songs. If I were a songwriter today I would react like many snobby writers did when they were chosen by Oprah to be a part of her silly book club and decline. I wonder if this Glee-hating is just another facet of my lifelong endeavor to think that musicals, except Cabaret and Willy Wonka, suck. But it's more than that, musicals (or musical shows like Glee) make people of a certain temperament hateful. Now that is what people should be doing their PhD work on: does Glee take every song make it generic and make the general population homicidal?
Tonight I went to a going away party for a friend of mine who just graduated the program, here are a few high and low lights:
-I met a hilarious actor. He was hilarious in two senses: 1. He was pretty snappy with jokes. And, 2. He did that thing that I imagine many actors who have been around awhile do: name drop. "So I had this friend who fucked Joshua Jackson and she said that everything that could possibly be wrong with a penis was wrong with his..."
-The hostesses ex came and I did whatever I could to avoid him or yelling at him and was actually quite sad that he didn't over hear my nasty comments regarding his creep factor.
-I said that I wanted to shoot my friend's cat who was lurking around. My friend in response, "Do it."
-There was a lesbian at the party who is in my program. She hits on me all of the time. I would be flattered by this if she were not the type to say: "I like everything with tits" and "I have no problem with men. If they didn't have penises, I would love men." I think next time I will say, "You are wasting your time. Go put your efforts elsewhere, you are the exact reason why I will never be a lesbian. But have fun at your bitter party table for one. And if I suddenly start to like women my hairdresser (a much less hateful lesbian) and I will never want to go on a double date with you."
-On the bus ride home my friend and I were talking on the phone as we wanted to keep each other company and make sure we each got home safe. I got on a bus and my friend decided to race home the bus that she was waiting for. She took off running and after awhile all I heard was her screaming, "Fuck you! I hate you! I said, FUCK YOU! Go away! That's right, you fucking assholes!" I asked her repeatedly if she was okay, thinking that she was being harassed by derelicts. Finally, she stopped shouting curses and said to me, "I am yelling at the cars that are passing by." Ten minutes later she was screaming the lyrics to Hotel California into the phone. At least I didn't have to worry about her being attacked by crazies they'd be too scared of her.
Tomorrow I am getting my hair cut AND it is Canada Day. I can hardly take the excitement of it all. But, I am still undecided about what to do about this whole Canada Day debacle. At supper this evening I asked a fellow inmate of the res hall, who just so happens to be American, what she'd be doing for Canada Day. "I will be working," she said. "Wow, I have rarely seen such a display of true American patriotism."
Tip of the Day: Thursday morning breakfast sucks, stay up late.
-Canadian Castaway
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