Day 336
Okay so I just watched a commercial for realtors and thought to myself two things:
1. Realtors hugging their clients is inappropriate, right? Or is it now expected?
2. And I swear and admit this is true: I thought to myself why the fuck are they mispronouncing the name of the occupation. It is not pronounced, real-tor it is pronounced, real-a-ter. Then I realized my stupidity as I saw that it is spelled: realtor which, phonetically would have it pronounced: real-tor. Shit, I am stoopid. Who the fuck let me get into grad school. Sucker.
Tomorrow I will be attending a wedding of an old friend of mine. This means that I will be putting on a dress that makes me look like a disco ball and have to schmooze with people about what I am doing and what they are doing as if either of us care. Not only is the wedding outdoors which is a total slut. It is in a metropolitan area during rush hour traffic so all of the neighborhood can see me as a disco ball. But the worst thing of all is that it is being held by my friend who is a vegetarian. I can't wait to choke down fake meat product and pretend like I am full. At least I am bringing a big purse to hold jerky and napkins filled with vegetarian food to feed the birds.
Tonight I made a cold salad for dinner that involved garbanzo beans, cucumbers, olives, tomatoes and dog hair. Yeah, that's right, in my tiny taste test I found two hairs. But if you eat it in the dark you can't see the fucking dog hairs and it tastes great.
I think my computer is mad at me or hates my blog--probably both. A few minutes ago the cursor totally disappeared and even my panicked control-alt-delete didn't work. Not only am I pissed off I am now puzzled as I have no idea what "alt" means. Then my cursor stopped and I had to restart my computer three times. This means i need to finish this thing up and not keep writing. This may be a good thing as I look this blog entry over I am spending a whole lot of time discussing things I don't know. Man, self reflection should be called, self slapping.
Everyday on Canadian Yahoo there are news articles--well, that is if you consider celebrities wearing the same outfits unknowingly news. What I want to know is who are the people who notice these things. Do they literally spend their entire lives playing a game of Memory but with pics of celebrities? When these people grew up and the adults in their lives asked them what they wanted to be when they grow up did they lie and say astronaut?
Tip of the Day: Strive to live the kind of life that makes your ridiculous crushes actual options.
-Canadian Castaway
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