Day 311
I have this sick addiction to horoscopes. Yeah, I know, I believe in that shit. The only reason I believe in any of it is because of the relationships I have with other Scorpios. Anyway, everyday I am reminded that the daily horoscope is bullshit and it really is starting to suck that I wake up everyday and then my day plays out to be exactly what I didn't expect. For example my horoscope today told me that someone I like will be liking me back or some such thing. I spent all day thinking that the guy I like would magically appear and we would frolic through a meadow of sunflowers. Guess what? Didn't happen. Fucking horoscopes.
I went to the coffeeshop today to read, go through comments from my thesis advisor and look for my crush. The results: I didn't finish the book I am reading, I didn't see my crush but I did read the comments. First I read the four positive one-liner comments and then I started to sift through the other 3 and a half single-spaced pages of things that don't make sense, characters that don't make sense, and ideas of mine that suck. Then I went into a funk. But, it's not like I could even really enjoy the depths of my funk because I know that after two days or so it will pass and I will set out to fix everything and write something better. At least that's how it's gone for quite awhile now. But, just because I don't experience the true funk doesn't mean that I don't experience the dread. The dread that seeps in when you think what if I don't get over the funk. But, if you never really had the funk you don't have to worry about getting over it, right? Ahh, who cares.
This afternoon I came home from the crush-less coffeeshop and turned on the television instead of taking a much-needed nap or washing clothes. The great news was that The Golden Girls was in a marathon. The bad news is that I started it late and only got to see four episodes. As I was watching these episodes I could see that the sun was shining outside my window and I was missing a beautiful day. I felt bad for a second or three and decided that there are priorities in life and watching The Golden Girls takes priority over sunny days, napping, and clean underwear.
Finally, after the marathon was over, I went out to see my friend from back home who was in town for a conference and has decided to stay a couple of days to do a little sight-seeing. When we finally met up I asked him where he'd been and what he'd done and it was a little while later I realized that I am a cold-hearted asshole. There was a woman who came up to us at the cafe we were at and asked for money. She didn't just ask she was like, "Are you sure?" "Check your pockets." I told her no on reflex and my friend, being the super nerd that he is I don't think had any idea what was going on. The woman left and a minute later my friend asked if she was asking for money I said she was. He then started gathering coins from his pocket to give to the woman noting, "She looked really desperate." He acted like this was the first time, despite his worldly travels, that he had been asked for some change. And it was then that I realized that I am a hardened bitch, I didn't really think twice about it. Good thing he is leaving to go back to China so that I don't have to realize other horrid flaws in my personality.
Tonight I watched two episodes of Friends. I can't believe I actually used to like that show and many people I know from Europe still enjoy it and praise it. It wasn't and really isn't funny, at all. The reason I was watching it in the first place was because I was waiting out the Family Guy dry spell that seemed to be happening. It's sort of like when I go to catch a bus, when I get to the stop the fucker better be there. So, when I turn on the TV set in the evening I expect to be greeted and to hang for awhile with the Griffins, not by Ross and Rachel's failed romance. Drat Canadian television broadcasting. (whatever the fuck drat means)
I just saw a commercial for Life Alert. It's that necklace-type thing that senior citizens wear. Instead of being happy and comforted by the fact that all the grandmas and grandpas out there that seem to be forgotten have a better chance at life when they have their third heart attack while grabbing the Breyers out of the freezer I was saddened to think that that was what their life had come to, wearing a hideous panic necklace as a reminder that they are feeble. Maybe I could start up a business around the idea of bejeweling these necklaces.
Tip of the Day: Always make sure to buy a vegetable of some kind when you go grocery shopping so that you aren't home late at night thinking about how you are not the kind of person who buys vegetables.
-Canadian Castaway
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