Day 292
This morning I woke up to go to the bathroom. I checked my clock just in time to see it turn from 9:30 to 9:31 and with that, I was late to work. I called from the toilet letting my boss know I had just woken up. When I got there 20 minutes later I was out of breath from biking uphill and running in. There were customers everywhere and my boss went back to the office to read her Jeffery Deaver book. I went 25 solid minutes on no coffee, water, or food. When I finally begged her to let me get sustenance I found out that in my morning frenzy I had forgotten to pack my wallet.
After I borrowed 10 bucks and got myself a coffee and part of a terrible bran and carrot muffin (seriously, I think I'd rather not have food than eat health food) I asked my boss why I had only received 3 shifts instead of four. "Because we hired your friend," she responded Apparently, my helping out by providing a competent person to work for my manager is rewarded by me working less. Then she told me that she hadn't gotten her period in a month and she feels horribly bloated all of the time and then declared that I would pick up an extra shift tomorrow as she will be taking the day off. If hearing about her health issues weren't enough for one day, I had to work with my friend during a rush and it was only his second day and I had to listen to the life story of an old man from Manhattan mailing a kilo of brochures AND I witnessed two people in line literally yell at each other about how long they each had to wait. The only thing that gets me through the Post Hell (Post Office) is the ridiculousness of it all and the fact that I am quitting.
After work I went to my favorite coffeeshop hideout. I worked on organizing the show I am writing and got quite a bit done while sipping some coffee. I love my hideout coffeeshop. I could go there everyday, twice a day even. I have been going nearly everyday now for awhile and yet the guy who works there everyday acts like he has no idea who I am. I have yet to decide if this is a good thing. There is something about having someone acknowledge you and remember what you want. But, there is something to having someone ignore the fact that you are that girl who goes to the same coffeeshop everyday. Nah, sccrew it, I'd rather walk in and have a coffee waiting for me on the counter.
My friend from the Post Office and his boyfriend met up for a cocktail at the bar who only employs women who look good in plaid skirts. It was then I heard about the fact that they have a mouse in their apartment. My friend's boyfriend told me the plan he learned from the internet about how they were going to catch the mouse. "You take our big red bucket and make a ramp leading up to it and put peanut butter on the inside of the bucket and he'll fall right in." Then he told me that the evening was themed and officially named, "The Big Gay Mouse Safari." I am sure that them building this "humane" trap will be 100 times better than Fievel Goes West as far as mouse adventures go. I give it 10 to 1 that they will wind up keeping the damn thing as a pet.
Tonight my mother was conversing with my uncle when I called her. I was excited to think that I had saved her. I was her excuse to get him to stop him on his rant about the huge sin of gay marriage and how Republicanism can save lives. But what did my mother say? "I am talking to your uncle, I'll call you later." To think that my mother would chose his rants over my rants about how much the Post Office sucks and how I am excited to come home. She'd better be on painkillers again to make a decision like that.
So it's official, I am going to start being healthier. Yeah, this shit has gotten out of control. After my friend and her kid came to visit and I saw the amount of food healthy people eat and noticed how much running around I cannot do with my six year old little buddy and I've decided it's time. I am not sure exactly what this entails, but I am sure it involves me becoming a super bitch due to lack of sugar and the kind of cheese that coats Cheetos and taking it out on my friends. So, I guess just the normal me, times ten. I wonder what's more important being healthier or having friends.
I just returned from doing my evening security rounds job where I go around the building checking doors. Tonight I saw two Chinese guys in the dark dining hall attempting to take a dining room table. They gave up. I wonder if they were more freaked out by the big white girl wearing a hood, pushing on doors or the fact that the tables weigh a ton. As I was checking some of the front doors a raccoon pranced by. Another raccoon heard the commotion at the door. I knelt down and the little monster stood staring at me just on the other side of the glass. I can't believe people think these furry monsters are adorable. All of those animal lovers should get the stare down I got this evening. The little bastard is lucky I don't need a new hat.
Tip of the Day: If you want to get work done you must not know that Intervention is on television.
-Canadian Castaway
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