Day 285
How weird is it that Lust for Life is playing on the radio when I am thinking about how I shouldn't have gotten drunk before supper. The thing about buying cider in Canada is that it is super delicious here and it can come in a two liter bottle. The only hang up is that you can't possibly finish an entire bottle in one evening so two nights later you will realize how much you have left and go to finish it up, except cider in Canada is strong and you will get totally pissed.
If you are lucky you will sit at a table that contains a friend who packs up your dinner and suggests that you and her go out shopping to sober you up. The weird part is that she will suggest that you get Oreos, at least 10 times. But, she will carry your soda and jar of pickles on the way home and mutually bitch with you about how everyone in residence is pretentious and fake. (Why is this paragraph in 2nd person?)
My favorite part of my drunken debauchery evening was when I told my friend that we should investigate a room in the residence where they have taken the chairs that she likes. We marched up to the room, me ahead of her. I flipped on the light to see that the meditation group was meditating in the dark. I called out, "Oh, shit!" and slapped the light switch back to off. We ran down the hallway a good ways before my co-hort stopped and I was repeating, "I didn't know!" while she was doubled over laughing. When she finally pulled it together she said, "They could've been reaching Nirvana and you just totally wrecked it!"
Today I rode Elliot to work for the first time. I was really quite proud of myself for going up the hills, slowly, but without stopping. I had just reached the top of the final hill and was very pleased until...some jackhole nearly crashed into me trying to pass my slow ass. People say that Canadians are polite, I am pretty sure he wasn't Canadian. I had better train so I could be fast enough to catch him next time and make him apologize.
At work today I totally snatched on my co-worker. She had told me that she was going to get off work early to go downtown to look for a new planner. She is obsessed with getting a planner. Later, after she had left, my boss came out of the office and I made a joke about how funny it was that my co-worker was going all the way to downtown to get a planner. My boss said, "Really? She told me that she had a doctor's appointment." "That's weird," I said realizing what I had done. "Maybe she had a doctor appointment that was for a private thing and she didn't want to tell me." My boss replied, "Yeah, I doubt it." "Well, ahh, she works really hard, she deserves a little break now and again I guess," I said. My boss said, "Yeah, I guess." I wonder if I should text my co-worker to warn her...
Today I realized that it is less than a week until my friend and her daughter arrive for a visit. I was so excited at the thought of it. I started planning what needed to be done before their arrival and after I'd filled three Post-It notes with a To Do list I realized that all the items on my To Do list were just chores. I was totally bummed out to realize how messy things had become and how much un-fun stuff there was to do. I told my friend about my ridiculous To Do list and her response was, "Don't worry about it, just clear a path." And that is why she is my best friend.
After work I rode Elliot home and took the long way around. Just as I was making the final turn I saw my crush walking his bike along the sidewalk. I stopped and introduced him to Elliot. I asked him what he was doing and he showed me that his bike tire was totally deflated. He then gave me a brief tutorial about how to use gears. And in my unique clueless fashion of how to hit on people I said, "I'll race you home!" and took off. The best part though was that I actually at the time and until my friend pointed out 10 minutes ago believed that I had been cute in doing this little stunt. I wonder if there is some kind of elective I could take for credit about the proper way of hitting on people.
Tip of the Day: If you can tell me and have proof of what is in the glass terrarium behind the Numa Numa guy in the video I will give you one Italian sausage and a lollipop. Seriously, I am guessing turtle. The whole wonderment is sort of ruining the video.
-Canadian Castaway
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