Day 286
This afternoon my friend Ben and I went out to a diner to grab a milkshake and fries. The guy who served us made the remark, "It's always his fault" after I blamed my friend for making me order a milkshake. My friend who was just texting his longtime boyfriend grinned at me. On the way out of the restaurant the waiter thanked us for coming and then he turned to me and said, "Good luck." I can't help but think that he meant good luck with having that guy as your lover. I didn't respond but, I should've told him that I didn't need luck, I needed a sex change.
There are many ways that living in residence is like high school. This is most evident in the lunchroom-esque setting of scene at dinner. There are the people who used to be friends, much like the people you were friends with when you were in elementary but no longer associate yourself with now that you are a high schooler. Then there is the cliques of people who sit together in impenetrable groups of cool and ethnicity. There are the anorexics and the two people who sit on their own and do not converse with anyone. There are the loud talkers and the shy types that most everyone doesn't get to know. There are the we-had-a-fling-and-no-longer-do types. There are the people who are currently having a fling and swatting at each other under the table and those who are together who hide it in glances that they think go unnoticed. But the thing about high school lunches is that I used to drive two towns over and to skip them. Here, I take my food to my room and turn on Home Improvement to take me away.
Tonight when I was catching up on Canadian celebrity news (who says I don't try) I found out that Alanis Morrisette got married to a guy I have never heard of so I had to go through a few google image results. Just as I started to realize that my waste of time search had gone on a little too long, I clicked on a different photo. I didn't get a photo of her new rapper husband I got a warning from my anti-virus that a threat had been detected. I guess if you mess around with trashiness you always catch something beyond the waste of your time.
I used to be a little ashamed and think it kind of sad that I am addicted to music countdowns...until tonight. Tonight there was an 100 best 80s songs countdown that changed my mind because it contained the song, "Da Butt." Seriously, it doesn't get much better than that.
Due to my day being not all that interesting, actually just thinking about it makes me want to drink a Red Bull, I have a few observations to include:
-Sweet old looking people saying dirty things is one of my favorite things.
-My boss interviewed my friend today for a job at the Post Office. The first thing she said to him after shaking his hand was, "I am so bloated!"
-Two days ago I was watching America's Funniest Videos and swear I saw my Aunt scream when my cousin scared her in a quick video clip. The reason I knew it was them was not because of how they looked (though they did look like younger versions of themselves) but because in the background was the unmistakably hideous wallpaper they had in their kitchen, or maybe I just hope it was one of a kind.
-Today is a good day, the future is looking more and more like Mr. Wonka had intended it, at least according to Stride Gum who is now putting out a flavor-changing gum. Now, if only we had that gum that turns into a meal complete with blueberry pie. If that is not possible I would settle for a Fizzy Lifting Drink.
-If I am bored with Ramona the Brave my 6 year old niece will be, right?
-I wonder if Seth MacFarlane intended for Family Guy to have so many musical numbers.
-It's one thing to say that you went to San Francisco, it's quite another to put up 89 Facebook photos to say that you went to San Francisco, it's quite another thing to be the person who looks through 89 photos of someone who isn't your friend in real life.
-When I was speaking on to my father regarding my mother's recent illness he remarked, "Geez, it was so bad I almost had to call up the funeral home and tell them to fire up the pump."
Tip of the Day: Everyone should have a Mexican wrestling mask lying around, you never know when it will come in handy.
-Canadian Castaway
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