Day 299
One day before day 300 which means that I have been here for nearly a year. Wow, that's freaky. Why is it that when I try to look back at the last year or two of my life I always think, "What the hell happened?" It was either munch on a Ginkgo Biloba tree constantly or start a blog of thinly veiled bitchery and bitterness (yes, I'm self aware, mofo). One day when I think, "Gee, what the hell happened to me from the fall of 2009 to fall of 2010?" I can look back and see how stupid I was. Oh well, I'll forget what it says the next minute anyhow.
This morning I set two alarms to ensure that I would wake up for my crappy Post Office job. My alarm not going off was my most recent cause of not making it to work on time so I'd have to think of another excuse and who has the time to prep a lie and practice its delivery when you were supposed to be at work a half hour ago. Anyway, I was only 3 minutes late. Turns out though, being late for work is a super good idea because then you will miss the torrent of assholes that storm the counter right before you are supposed to arrive and are ditched by your boss who is supposed to be helping.
Yeah, today was hell at work. I considered walking out roughly, 43.895 times. Having the computer crash and having to help my friend learn how to do his job while helping seven people is something I just don't get paid enough to deal with. Also, my favorite delivery boy that I hit on for kicks didn't even show up. What a shit smear in the eye kind of day. On the plus side at least 14 customers heard me say "Fuck!" (I thought it was under my breath...). And, when my boss emerged after the 8th rush that she didn't help out with I turned to her and mouthed, "I quit."
The one good part about having a shitty job (besides bitching about it) is that when you get off work you are so relieved to be out of there that the fact that the guy at the coffeeshop gave you taquitos instead of chicken tenders or the fact that you missed getting your package in the mail (even though it's mostly socks but there might be a salami surprise) doesn't affect you.
Tonight at dinner I sat with a friend of mine who used to live up the hall from me. He has come back to defend his thesis (or whatever the hell it is actual academics do). I was so excited to see him he was always so happy and every time I said, "Yay!" he would respond back, "Yay!" We chatted for a bit and then I remembered his only flaw when he said, "I have some pictures to show you..." Then it all came flooding back to me the countless hours I spent looking at horrible photographs of people in a foreign country I don't even know holding band instruments. "Oh, I have so much to do tonight, maybe another time while you are here. I can't wait!" Gawd, even I surprise myself sometimes with my self-control.
You know you are a whiny bitch when: Your mother offers to take you for a weekend to a nice resort-y area and you say. "I don't know Mom, there are lots of bugs around there." Or, when you are working a job that requires you to move ridiculously heavy tables and you say to your co-workers (one who has a stitched-up finger, "I don't want to lift those heavy tables anymore my arms hurt." Sometimes I astound myself. What's even nuttier is that I have a few friends, like friends who actually like me and care and shit.
Tomorrow I am getting a blood test done. It is a general test. I am getting it due to the face that a. I have never had one done and b. a friend of mine was recently diagnosed with cancer which, btw, she is a year younger than I am and finally, c. I realized there are a whole bunch of other terrifying things that people sometimes don't realize they have. Anyway, as part of the test I have to do a glucose fast. This means that I cannot eat or drink anything after midnight tonight. I am freaked out as hell. I mean, normally I try not to eat or drink anything after midnight but I feel like if I can't then I will just do it to break the rules. I mean shit, that's why I started shoplifting when I was young (well, that and the fact that Claire's makes it so easy). What I should be more concerned about is the fact that you do not make an appointment for blood testing and I may have to sit for over an hour or more (who knows) without my morning 4 cups of coffee. I wonder if I'll get the shakes or grab a chair and smash my way through the waiting area. This is why there should be a documentary crew following my ass. At least it'd be more entertaining than watching Kirstie Alley with her brats and animal kingdom.
Tip of the Day: Eminem got hotter. I hope somehow that helps someone as much as it has helped me.
-Canadian Castaway
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