Day 279
This morning was spent at war--with a giant flying insect invader. Apparently in Canada there is a species of huge mosquito. The kind that may eat Quaker cheddar-flavored rice cakes and give you malaria. Anyway, I chased the flying tiny death machine all around. I even lost the gigantic bug for five minutes while it took refuge in my Quakers. The chase went on. He tried under the chair and next to my TV. Finally, I had him cornered behind the bookshelf.
I couldn't seem to get him out so I grabbed the first thing I thought of: my 32 buck a bottle of hair volumizer. I sprayed and sprayed crack of the bookshelf and he didn't come out. And then, and this is the reason why I am smart enough to be in grad school, I grabbed the bottle of compressed air that allegedly cleans out between by computer keys (my dash and eight never work properly due to debris). I sprayed him out and stomped him. I spent the next five minutes staring at my kill thinking that it had terribly long legs and thinking, 'Gee, I wish I had wings.' And then I had to get one with my day.
If that wasn't exciting enough in an effort to avoid working on my thesis I made myself a Twitter account. As of a few minutes ago I have six followers and feel horribly unpopular. Okay, so there were a few followers that I blocked because they looked like weirdos. I mentioned to my friend how weird it is that people I don't know want to follow me. She told me that that was the entire point of Twitter, following people you don't know. My other friend told me only to post really funny stuff, "then you will get followers." Now I am confused is Twitter about crazy people stalking you, or winning popularity, or becoming popular with strangers? Should I tweet that?
Today I went out to a cafe on campus. This is a cafe that looks super generic and therefore I usually avoid it. But I had work to do and thought I'd give it a shot. I went in and met three different friends and found out that the coffee in that joint tastes like spaghetti (in a horrible way). Here are the highlights of the friends:
1. The first friend was my friend who lives in a hippie commune house. She told me all about the crystals and tarot cards she recently purchased. She also told me that she has been spending most of her time listening to podcasts about aliens, making art, catching good vibes and smoking hash. She told me that she is all about living her life now and not about stressing out. According to her stress is just a plague that people who lack confidence in themselves contract.
2. The second visitor was a good-looking guy from my building who always laughs at my jokes and pops out his eyes because I shock him. Yeah, kinda love that. I told him of my troubles with I-Tunes (okay, so I don't know how to get it to play anything that isn't on a CD) and he told me that I am the kind of person who will always suck up to people who know stuff about computers and get them to fix things for me. Then he shared a candybar with me and made a grand exit--until he had to come back because he forgot his dorky bike helmet. I still don't know how to get the damn I-Tunes to play music sent by email.
3. The third visitor came and started to do work. It wasn't until then that I realized that I had come to do work and it was really just as easy as sitting down and doing it, but damn the spaghetti coffee hit and I had to pee and plus, I had Twitter to keep up with.
At supper this evening a friend of mine from South Africa inquired about Mount Rushmore. He asked questions like how big it was and if it was made of stone. I gave him answers to these questions and tried to give him a concept of size and how long and hard it was to make. He listened intently and then told me he was offended by it. He said that it destroyed an ecological area. My answer, "It was one mountain. So what? We've got tons of them." I looked to my nearest tablemate for a laugh and a vote of confidence. Then I tried the, "It's art" route and the "If it weren't for that ecological defacement my broke Midwestern family would've had nowhere to vacation." He didn't buy either of these ideas either. Finally I told him that it was an educational experience and he wasn't offended anymore.
There are many things people can do to learn how to write for TV. There are books about it, you can read scripts, you can watch TV, you can write. What I did tonight was outline an entire episode of Modern Family. From start to finish for a 22 minute episode I wrote 12 pages of notes. That is, I actually wrote by hand, every detail, including tons of dialogue, character arcs, and plot flow, and scene structure, and locations.
You know, I realize I am out of shape but seriously? I felt like I did when I was in the 3rd grade and had to stay in and write sentences. I was "bad" because I organized a game of spin the bottle. I should have been commended on my organizational and leadership skills. But anyway, this hand being tired business scared me a little, I think it's time that I start hauling off to the nudie beach, not only will I be in better shape climbing up and down to get to and fro, my hand will get exercise as I write snarky comments in my secret notebook about the naked guy who stares at me.
Tip of the Day: Don't bother with Twitter it's only really fun for a couple hours.
-Canadian Castaway
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