Day 288
This is a special edition blog entry as I write the moment that I have been cleaning for will arrive. Two weary travelers who will likely not even notice I have cleaned will be joining me. This is the first time I will be having visitors from the U.S. despite everyone telling me before I left how excited they were to come and see me in Canada and me believing me. I know it's very expensive to come here for a visit and people are busy but, it does look pretty bad when the only friend who comes to visit you is the one who is bringing one kid with her and leaving behind another with a broken leg and a new puppy. But, enough with the bitchery, I am gonna try and do that thing where you are grateful for what you have (but it's kinda boring).
I am actually super excited about them coming, particularly my friend's kid that is coming along. When I have been away from kids for awhile I think about how magical they are and wonderful and amazed at everything and the funny shit they say and all the inappropriate shit you can say to them (John Waters tells little girls with pretty handbags how wonderful their handbags are and that they should steal stuff with them). The things that I forget are the little things, like how they sometimes whine and cry uncontrollably and you cannot ditch them. Or how they get super hooked on something you say and keep repeating it and making you repeat it at minimum 84 times. But being able to go to Science World and not look like some freaky overgrown adult child or pervert is totally worth irrational tears and the creation of catchphrases.
So before they arrive I will attempt to recount the interesting bits of my day so far. Here goes:
I went to turn on my TV today and found that every channel had static. I was so freaked out that I hooked and rehooked both ends of the coaxial cables and nothing changed. But the craziest part was when I thought, 'Shit, my TV is dead, what am I gonna do with myself?"
I realized that one of the only reasons I still work at the Post Office is to make customers take all of the ugly stamps, instead of giving them the pretty ones.
I saw one of the nicest men I will ever meet in my life today when I was walking up the street. He is a friend of mine but, sadly, he is the type of friend where you don't even know each others names. Thankfully, he is getting into the profession of being a doctor. There is something so joyful in finding someone who is training to be a doctor that isn't a douche bag. The only downside is that when you ask him where he is off to he will tell you all about how he just sat through a class about sawing through hipbones.
At supper I got into trouble again. This time I made the best joke ever and the person I was making it to basically told me, "Not now, I've had a long day." The joke was that a few of us were talking and he was crunching on a piece of
I want to meet someone whose favorite food is lychee and follow them around and keep a diary of the food they eat.
When I got home from work my TV worked again so I flipped through the channels only to find that nothing was on.
Note: I have now relocated to my secret hiding spot at the college while the six year old who loves to hold hands and climb on people gets ready for bed. She even keeps a journal and spells words in cute kid ways like, "skar" for "scare." She is probably reading a Ramona Quimby book in my room aloud right now. I am kind of sad to be missing it. Anyway, tomorrow we are going kid adventuring in which we will try to convince a 6 year old that you can see whales from the beach. See you tomorrow at bedtime.
Tip of the Day: When your friend says she is too tired to Skype, respect that. When your friend says she is going to take a bath rather than talk to you on the phone tell her, "Who the hell do you think you are? You can take a bath anytime."
-Canadian Castaway
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