Day 301
This morning was spent editing and arguing with my bodyguard about the existence/non-existence of my his butt and that was pretty much the thrilling point of the day. Well, his butt and the fact that a friend of mine read my spec script and wrote a long email detailing why it was amazing and how he couldn't find anything to fix. Anyway, here are the very few other things that I noticed and/or that happened today besides those things:
The bad part about having tons of writers as facebook friends is that you have to sift through a lot of poetic status updates.
My mother pointed out that I always have interesting people around me and when you come from where I come from the word "interesting" doesn't have positive connotations. Today when I was working at the Post Office when a handsome man in his thirties came in. He smiled at me like he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. But, as it turns out he was a guy who I had helped pick out stamps before and there was something more childlike to his smile when he brought up stamps. He went on and on about stamps and showed me a card he had made. It looked like black paper with three lines on it. "I am very particular about my cards. See those strips? Those are part of my soccer cleats from three years ago." He wanted to talk about everything, especially soccer and stamps and my home state. It took him nearly an hour to mail his two homemade cards and when he left he promised to remember the name of the town he'd visited in my homestate on his next visit.
That guy reminded me that a few years ago, when I was working in a hotel bar, there was a stamp show every month and I had an older version of this same guy. A guy that just wanted to talk and be friendly and show off his stamps. He even bought me a Tennessee Williams stamp once because he heard I was a huge fan. The only differences between today's stamp guy and the one from years past is that the one from back home didn't have a wedding ring and his form of art was finding me a coupon for chocolate milk. Honestly, it would've been easier today had the guy handed me a chocolate milk coupon instead of me trying to guess what the hell was on his card.
Also while at work today I got a voicemail from a nurse at the clinic where I had bloodwork done at yesterday. The nurse on the phone said that my blood test looked really normal. I was so excited I went out to tell my co-worker about it. Upon seeing the faces of the customers apparently this wasn't something that I was supposed to share aloud.
Tonight I have been watching TV for hours, with a purpose. For some ungodly reason there hasn't been one episode of Family Guy on any channel all night long but I have been looking hard. Here are a few things I saw during the Family Guy outage:
Toddlers and Tiaras: Tonight's version was extra nutty as one of the little girls had a "coach" who was also competing in the pageant. The coach was a 31 year old who grew up doing pageants and said that God had brought her back to doing them again. This is all fine until you realize that she won a crown whose competitors (besides her) were between 10 to 12 years old. Somebody should tell her that 10+ category doesn't mean 31+.
Family Jewels: Umm, I have never had a crush on anybody as hardcore as I am having on Nick Simmons right now. What a gorgeous guy. But, why is it that being 5 years older than him makes me feel like I am crushing on a 4th grader? I am a cougar in training I guess. Growl? Purr? Whatever the fuck noise cougars make.
Some Other Pageant Show: This show had footage of two girls when they were young and in pageants and showed where they were at when they were 17. The richer girl was in a fancy boarding school and the poorer girl was sharing a bedroom with her three sisters and still doing pageants trying to win some money. Okay, so it's not just me. right? This is a terribly fascinating take on life. Right? No? Maybe I am a crackhead for these reality shows. Shit, and I thought being a pageant mom was shameful.
Tip of the Day: If the "onions" in your gravy look like worms, scrape them off, the meat is still good.
-Canadian Castaway
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