Day 303
This morning was spent sending out emails asking for letters of recommendation. There is a fellowship that I can apply for and one of the requirements is that you get at least 3 letters of reference. There is nothing more strange than asking people to write wonderful things about you. Even the small talk that precedes the asking about, "How is your summer going?" sounds fake. Would it be better to say, "I need you to write nice things about me, you in?" Let's face it, "How is your summer going?" isn't actually a question it's a preamble.
Today I finally used my Zipcar. I was so excited that when my friend was a minute late in joining me I started to curse her and text her. When we finally got the damn thing going I was still so excited that I was literally bouncing in my seat. I guess I've always had this thing for driving and cars, ever since the day my dad said, "Braces for your teeth or a car?" and the jingle of keys dropped into my hand. Which, btw, he denied doing today and laughed and laughed and demanded that for next Father's Day I get him a mug that reads, "World's Worst Dad."
I need to stop hanging out with Virgos. Every time I hang out with someone on a regular basis lately it seems to be with a Virgo and whenever I get super excited about something they sit there all stoic. Anyway, me and my unexcited Virgo friend get to the chintzy grocery store and I park the car in a tiny parking lot. The store is sort of like in White Noise when there is that store with all the same packaging, except the packaging in this store is yellow. While in the store I realize that since I have a car I need to buy all of the things that I don't buy because I do not have a strong Norwegian boyfriend to haul them home.
The actual shopping part of the trip went pretty well, except for the part where I had to get a cart. Where I come from you don't have to put money in a cart to be able to use a cart. Only one other time have I actually gone to the trouble of putting money into the cart and that time it took one loonie. This time I tried and tried to shove a loonie into the cart without seeing the "25 C" clearly marked on it. My question is, is if they are only going to charge only a quarter why charge at all? Pretty sure even on a horrible day a bum could find a quarter in this city if they are worried about people stealing the carts--no wait, they probably just do it for kicks. They probably do it to see how many jackholes try to shove a loonie into the carts.
Besides me running into every single endcap the store has due to the gigantic cart everything went fine...until check out. In my check out line there were two women who were strangers to each other having a conversation that went something like this, "I don't appreciate you acting like I am some bad person, I am actually a very good person." "I didn't say you were a bad person, you just took up too much room and time. You need to get your items lined up properly." This would've been quite funny had I not been in a hurry to get the car back as the time it was supposed to be back in 10 minutes.
The women were each taking up a lane of the checkout conveyor mostly due to the rate at which Canadian supermarket employees ring up items and the fact that they spent their time arguing. Then, the checkout lady bitched at me about their being too much stuff when the fighters who checked out before me were still packing up their stuff and bickering.
Finally, my friend and I made it to the car only to realize that we needed to call the Zipcar peeps to extend our time with the car. I got on the phone with the automated phone line and looked behind to back out and had to wait out a few cars. When I turned back around there was some woman standing in front of my car waving her hands at me wildly.
I looked on all sides of the car to see what she was waving about and saw nothing of concern. My friend said, "I think she is waving at you because you are on your cellphone and about to drive away." Sure enough, the middle-aged flappy-armed woman was now making a "call me" sign followed by making an X-shape with her arms. I ignored the display.
There were still cars behind me so I had to wait. And instead of leaving the woman opened the door to the car next to me and started honking the horn trying to get my attention. By that time I had already missed the automated option to extend the car rental. I threw my phone to my friend and said, "You figure this out, I gotta get away from this woman." And, with that, I backed out of the space. When I looked over at my friend on the phone I realized I gave the obnoxious flappy-armed woman exactly what she wanted and I wanted to go back there and take another call while cruising the lot waiting for her to return.
I called my mother this afternoon and asked her what she was doing. Her response, "I am in the basement. There are tornadoes everywhere." I said, "Good, now you can clean out the basement." Her response, "Maybe we'll find that Chutes and Ladders game and we can play it."
I never imagined that I would spend my Friday nights watching a ghostbusting show that never really finds any proof of the existence of ghosts, followed by a documentary on the life and times of Britney Spears. I don't want to know if this is existence is cool or pathetic.
Tip of the Day: Turns out you can use your hair dryer just like a weed blower except in your bathroom to chase away dust not leaves.
-Canadian Castaway
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