Day 259
So, it had to come up sooner or later, let's talk about farting. Yeah, I know, I thought I was above it too. And of course, me being a girl, I don't fart (love those sexist tones). Anyway, I was a little farty at work today. I was sort of worried that my co-worker would say something, seeing as we are good enough friends now for her to ask me to be her facebook friend (does that even mean anything anymore, though). As I was miscalculating peoples postage I was trying to improvise lies in my head about the farts, possibly picking people around to blame it on. Then I thought, I could take the "Do you smell that?!" approach. Then I wondered if, when you grow up in South Korea, you learn the whoever smelt it dealt it rule. But, if I asked her if they teach you that rule in Seoul she would ask if I farted. Fart.
At supper this evening I was sitting next to a pretty boy who I always poke fun at. He usually takes my shit and pops out his eyes at nearly everything I say as though it's the most shocking thing he's ever heard. Then tonight we were talking about another resident in our building, and he said, "He was SUCH a big baby when I flooded his room." He then detailed to me how you take a garbage can, fill it with water, and if you prop it just right on someones door it will create a massive lake on them and their floor when they open the door. I was very impressed with his skills. I sat there and stared at him thinking, "Wow, he's way more evil than I thought he was, impressive." But, my next thought was, "Shit, I better watch it, he's gonna flood my room and my evil-doing skills are nowhere near his."
There is one thing about me that will never change, ever. That one thing is that I have to listen to The White Stripes and sing along REALLY loud every so often. I do not have a car in this country (or at home for that matter, RIP Red Racer)so I am forced to do this in my room, as I am too afraid to walk down the street doing it. When I am singing in my room I sometimes pause to wonder if my neighbors will come knocking to bitch about the volume of my music, casually avoiding that it is actually the volume of my singing that is the problem. And then I imagine that there is a group of my neighbors gathered outside my door, loving my singing. I am not gonna look out the peephole, I think I'll just assume they are there.
I was doing a little laundry this evening and I realized the biggest reason of why it sucks to live in a residence building--you have to be nice to people. Yeah, you can hate someone, but when you see them you must say hello, and sometimes hello isn't enough. When you run into the guy who sends out passive aggressive emails regarding the volume of your voice you don't really want to talk to him. Fine, I'll say hello, but what the hell am I supposed to do if he is in the laundry room cleaning a lint screen for 10 minutes (yeah, 10 effing minutes) and babbling on about "Hard discs" (hard drives is what he meant)? At least I had enough wits about me to not look over and see his undies.
So, nothing much cohesive is coming together for me at the moment about my day. Here are the tidbits:
-I know I am going to hell for this, but I totally just read someone else's blog in my program and thought, "Shit, my blog kicks that blogs ass!"
-Where I live there are community kitchens. These kitchens have full-sized refrigerators. These refrigerators sometimes have food stolen from them. Sometimes I like to go into them and stare inside the fridges, but now I am afraid to do so. What is more ridiculous--that I want to look into fridges, or that I feel like I could be accused of theft for looking into a fridge?
-The girl that many people think is a bitch who lives in my residence is an avid participator in scientific studies that pay her money. This makes me want to be her friend.
-Apparently, people in my building love to secretly date each other. This was evident in the night-time handholding of my favorite physicist and a nice girl from my rez that I ran into in the courtyard tonight. It is even more evident when you see facebook photos with the most hideous guy in the building kissing the girl who you recently realized was cools face. And damn, he may be a dick but that was one sweet photo. I wonder if I can secretly date the new guy who's always giving me the eye...I think I'd be the wear t-shirts-with-photos-of-us-groping-each-other type.
-My new advisor begged me to send her the script to the pilot episode I wrote. I wonder if she has a pool going with her fancy TV writer buddies, for who can find the most amateur script. I want a cut of the winnings is all I have to say.
-Today I went to see the secretary of my department. She is addicted to calling into radio contests and is currently in a drawing of 45 ppl to win a ticket to see Gaga in concert in LA and win 10,000 bucks. She told me that if she wins she is going to set up a scholarship with the funds. I thought that it was so selfless of her to say that, considering the secretary of my program probably gets paid in coffee-stained poetry on bar napkins, until I realized that she is only saying that so it gets her good enough karma to win.
-Apparently asking your friend who runs a meditation circle if people meditate naked is ridiculous.
-I stole 43 cents worth of stamps today and a bubble mailer, but I am considering it my Christmas bonus.
-I finally watched the SNL episode with Betty White and maybe it's because I am not getting any but, I noticed that there were a ridiculous amount of sex jokes. It's funny to me that the (all male, btw) writers of SNL were given the task of writing for an 88 1/2 year old woman and they thought: Sex!
-I started to gmail chat with my bodyguard who is in India visiting his parents. Turns out though, that his parents are using his computer. I was mildly aware of his mother occasionally using it and so I said, "Hi! If you are (my bodyguard's name here) Mom. Hello! I hope you have a wonderful day." Now, this may sound nice, except--as I found out later--it was his dad who read it. I don't know if I can strike up chat conversations with him anymore though we chat nearly everyday. But, I must admit the prospect of me accidentally saying nasty shit to his unsuspecting parents sounds kinda fun.
Tip of the Day: Sometimes when you leave threatening messages on the facebook walls of your friends who aren't speaking to you they will just ignore them.
-Canadian Castaway
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