Day 278
I had to work today, again. Today two odd things happened:
1. The mean postal pick up guy came in to get the mail. The one who leaves customers in the lurch and gets really snappy and always wears ear plugs, anyway, he came in and started talking to someone. Yeah, weird huh? If that wasn't enough he was talking to this random guy for like ten minutes. Well, he doesn't really talk, he yells, probably due to the earplugs. I wondered what made him stay so long, until I realized that he was talking on and on about how horrible it is to work for the postal service. He kept repeating the words, "postal gong show" and laughing in a creepy way. The new tallies are in, he is definitely for sure the postal worker disgruntled enough to come in packing a tommy gun one day.
2. I was helping a guy decide which postage option to take when I noticed that he had a tiny spider crawling along the collar of his shirt. I was so shocked by it that I didn't say anything.
When I enrolled in grad school I thought it meant that I was going to finally spend all of my time writing. Wrong. Insider tip regarding writing programs: Most of your time is spent avoiding writing. Honestly, there are times when I realize that I did the same amount of writing, sometimes more, when I was in school for undergrad and working 4 jobs. I actually sat down and worked, but I never had a clean dish or groceries. I'd rather have dirty cups and an empty belly with a few pages to show for it.
Confession: So, I have lived in some real shit hole buildings with sketchy landlords over the years and have acquired enough skills to be an unofficial plumber. That said, the handle came off on my sink a while back (as in months back) and I couldn't fix it. I didn't contact the maintenance partly due to not wanting to deal with having a repair person, being too lazy to fill out the repair paperwork, admitting defeat in my not being able to fix it myself, and having gotten used to it being broken. Today I decided to get it fixed, so finally turned in the minimal paperwork and tidyed the bathroom, making sure to lay out the broken parts. When I got home from work just hours later I went into the bathroom to discover it magically fixed. Damnit, sometimes things ARE easy, well, if you aren't lazy or prideful.
Once again I was sucked in the Hoarders vortex. Seriously, someone should file a class action against the producers of the show for what a time suck it is. And, it's not like they just show one episode and be done with it they always come in multiples. I hope they are making their advertisers pay billions of dollars, because, whether people admit it or not everyone is hooked, everyone. Well, except maybe my 86 year old grandma, she is more into watching birds and watching her housemates looking for reasons to hate them. God, I love her. Back to the point, while there are many horrible things about the show there is one good thing about Hoarders--okay, two good things--1. It will make you feel good that you are not quite as fucked up as the people on the show. But you will realize that (insert family members name here) is just as bad. 2. If you are not (insert family members name here) the show will inspire you to clean. I cleaned out a desk drawer and half a book shelf today.
I broke up with my lover today: the self checkout. Seriously, I had to have the clerk on staff come and fix the damn thing like eight times. I was with a couple of my so-called friends (translation: people who tease me and try to push me into fountains and down cliffs) and by the end of it they were yelling, "Swipe your card!" While I tried to purchase my items the machine kept yelling at me for not placing my items in the bagging area and would freeze up. By the end of it I was begging the helper lady to stay with me, threatening to cry. My friend made the joke, "How many Creative Writing majors does it take to mess up a self-checkout?" The angry Asian kids waiting in line behind me didn't find this funny. The good news was, was that I tried to cheat on the price of cranberries, got caught, but the checkout helper believed me when I played dumb, as I couldn't even get the machine to work. The bad news: my so-called friends will never let me live it down and will never believe that I really did use the damn thing before without troubles.
On the way home we were walking along a path when an animal came out of the bushes and started walking along in front of us. "Dingo!" I yelled. Who knows why I yelled this, as I have never actually seen a dingo and I am pretty sure there aren't any on this continent. Turns out the dingo was a lone coyote that I was positive had rabies. Then one of my friends started whistling to try and get it to come near. The other friend offered her newly purchased wieners (tee hee hee) to feed it with. I didn't know who I wanted to shoot more, the rabid coyote or my idiot friends.
Tip of the Day: Pretty sure you can clean your entire computer with spit, just don't tell anyone.
-Canadian Castaway
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