Day 267
I have this new idea that I need to start getting up for breakfast, at least when there are eggs to be had. This morning I really considered staying in bed when my alarm went off but, I got up and went to breakfast anyhow. When I arrived I was finally awake enough to remember that there are no eggs served on Thursdays. I was quite pissed, and even more pissed when I found out we only had slimy sausages, instead of ham.
When I sat down at the table I was still fairly grumpy, until we started talking about porn. One of the girls at the table said that her biggest culture shock in moving to Canada from a foreign country was that one friday night she was sitting at home and discovered, "Channel 39!" This of course was porn. She claims that after a certain time at night on fridays the channel switches from regular TV to porn. We'll just have to see about that, in the common TV room of my rez of course. Guess it WAS worth getting up for egg-less breakfast.
After breakfast I went back to my room and gmail chatted with my bodyguard in India. Seeing as many people judge Americans for being idiotic, ignorant folk I always give him shit to live up to the stereotypes. I asked him if when he came back to school in the fall if he will be wearing weird Indian clothing. He reassured me that he would dress the same as he always has and they do make regular clothes in India. I ratcheted up the ignorance level with, "I thought they only made earrings in India." My bodyguard then started to play along. He gushed about how wonderful it is to just wear earrings and how he wears studs and how it's really super convenient seeing as it gets so hot in India. Damn, he's good.
I went through my ridiculous collection of lipsticks. Many of them have badass names like Aftershock and Ballistic. But, my favorite one is called, Sun-kissed Ginger. You know you need to get out of your house when you really think about what this says about who you are.
I went to my least favorite coffeeshop to work today and got the awesome corner seat with a view of a Brad Renfro (RIP) look-alike, until some jackhole with a large head and even larger headphones sat in my sight-line. Then I ordered the worst "Enchilada" ever and watched the girl working dust the rafters directly above the counter and wondered how much five-year old dust got on my shitty Enchilada. I moved on to the library at school. I roamed around three different floors looking for a spot that wasn't too sunny or crowded. Yeah, you know you are an asshole when you curse the fact that the sun is shining into a library, just to spite you and show off the dust on top of the books proving that no one reads anymore (Midol could fix this attitude but sometimes it's fun to think about later).
I finally found a spot in the library with a good view, out of the dreaded sunshine, and far enough away from people so as to make it quiet. I laid out all of my things and for the first time today was satisfied. Two minutes later he came. No, not Brad Renfro's look-alike or the hot German man who haunts the library, or God, but a non-descript Asian guy. He decided to choose the seat just on the other side of my carrel. Before he sat down he leered over the top of the carrel at me just long enough for me to hate him. He sat down and I relaxed just enough to get back into my reading and then the sniffling started. Not just a few sniffles, but rhythmic sniffing. Sniff, sniff...pause...sniff, sniff...pause...sniff, sniff. It was then that I knew I had to leave or I would've leered over the top of the carrel and told him to blow his fucking nose before I cut if off.
A piece of my giant headphones broke off so I decided to get super glue AND give earbuds another try at the same time. Why not? I could have a backup headphone device for when my huge headphones break. When I bought my I-Pod I couldn't understand how people got earbuds to fit in their ears, let alone like them better than old school headphones, so I went back to huge headphones that double as earmuffs in the winter. But, a friend of mine raved to me about the type of earbuds that fit to your ears, and as my giants were in need of repair, I was desperate for music so I picked up a pair of these earbuds. I put them in and finally discovered exactly what it is about the earbud-style headphone that I hate: they make me feel like I am wearing hearing aides. I am 26 years old, I really don't want any sort of training for wearing hearing aides. The even crazier thing is that these earbuds are likely a cause of many people needing hearing aides, especially those kids who blast shitty new emo punk.
When I went home O decided that I am grown up enough to use the kind of super glue that comes in a child-proof package. This was a stupid idea but, I needed my giant headphones back. I spent the rest of the night wondering if the, "May irritate skin" message matched up with the, "If contact with skin occurs soak in water and call The Poison Control Center immediately." I looked and looked at my finger. I swear it had a drop of glue on it and was red and may fall off, but it didn't stick to anything so I was unsure if it was just dead skin and a red mark from the pressure of holding together my headphones. I even went to dinner and asked several people if my finger looked alright to them. I got a speech about how super glue was invented for use in war time to heal skin quickly. I also got a guy saying the following when he couldn't quite hear me, "Yes, your finger is fat?" At least I think he didn't hear me. That fucker.
Tip of the Day: Craig Ferguson has the hottest hands I have ever seen. I don't know how that is a helpful tip, you figure it out.
-Canadian Castaway
No comments:
Post a Comment