Day 249
So, I don't even want to look back at the 5 am blog post from yesterday. If you didn't happen to read the substance-laced blog of last night, do not go back, it may be terrifying. There was still bonfire smell in my hair this morning (noon) along with at least 1,287 grains of crusted sand on my scalp and 2,278 grains of sand in my clean sheets. Anyway, (and obviously) today was spent combating a hangover. It's been quite awhile since my last actual hangover day. There were a few things I learned about being hungover:
Eating a bacon and avocado benedict is a great way to start the day. I didn't feel hungover at all until I was done eating it. Perhaps, if I wasn't such a goddamn glutton I could've eaten the benny over the course of the entire day and I wouldn't have felt hungover at all. But cold hollaindaise sauce is a scary substance.
Orange Gatorade is something that I always think is the panacea to hangovers but it never is, ever.
Lying on a giant inflatable mattress is good, except when you realize that you are too lazy/hungover to flip over and are trying to type using only your left hand. Somehow only typing with you left hand is really not that fun.
Playing frisbee on the beach with a friend you ran into could be good for curing a hangover, but if it's too windy then it will make you want to throw up. Seriously, I barely made it onto the bus, I can't be chasing discs around all day.
Walking up and down the biggest hill in the city wearing shitty shoes is definitely not a good hangover cure, but it does make you feel badass, when you start to breathe again.
Most of my recovery time was spent reading a comic collection called, "The Fart Party Volume 2." This proved to be the excellent hangover cure, until I got a headache from reading for too long and laughing.
I am pretty sure that playing Wii bowling would make me feel a ton better, now all I have to do is get a Wii.
Watching "Ian is Bored" Episode 13 where he does physical activities certainly doesn't cure my hangover. And what is with him saying he is going to lift a kid over his head and then not doing it? Dick.
Watching half an episode of Kirstie Alley's show about her life made me annoyed enough to forget that I was hungover at all. Seriously, she is going to have all the people in her life make a book of her animals so that in case there is a fire they can rescue them for her? That bitch doesn't need to rescue her lemurs, she needs the ASPCA to raid her house and take them away.
Despite the fact that watching things didn't really help, I watched like four episodes of The Gilmore Girls this evening. This didn't really help the hangover either, as I was watching the dreaded 7th season. You know, the season where every episode is like horrid and depressing and not really anything like the show used to be. Damnit.
If this wasn't bad enough, I asked the movie guy to bring me movies to watch. Apparently, he took this to mean that I wanted to go over to his house and watch movies with him. Having to come up with a response for him that didn't make me sound like a total asshole didn't really help my hangover either.
Screw all of this, it's time to sleep it off and hopefully have dreams of movie guys I actually want to date asking me to come over and watch Back to the Future, or dreams about guys who could build me a DeLorean to go back in time so that I don't drink too much and spend a whole day without finding a hangover cure.
One day I will have something more exciting to write about than surviving a hangover, like maybe I'll fly a kite or eat a submarine sandwich, you never know. Goodnight for now, my DeLorean building prince awaits...hopefully.
Tip of the Day: Deflating a giant inflatable bed isn't as much fun as it would seem.
-Canadian Castaway
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