Day 273
Today was one of those days where you wake up excited to eat cake, wind up crying in a restaurant bathroom and go home and listen to Journey. Anyway, let's start with the morning:
I missed breakfast and wound up having soup and a boiled egg that I accidentally spilled a few drops of Hank's (my African violet) fertilized water on. I wonder if my hair will be nicer as a result, or maybe I'll sprout a beard.
My favorite chat conversation of the day had to be with a friend of mine who recently got his state tattooed on his upper back. I asked him, What did you do about your fur?" His answer, "Disposable Bic." Then there was a conversation that was borderline too much about how I want to wax his back and his hairy hands just to see how creepy his hands would look. Then I asked him, "What are you going to get for a tramp stamp?" His answer, "Your name."
My advisor wrote to me to tell me that I am awesome. This is wonderful, except, now I have to live up to it.
All of my Canadian friends facebook walls were covered in joyous messages about how they got a SSHRC grant. This means that the Canadian Government is giving them 17,500bucks next year to go to school. I have never wished I were Canadian until the moment I saw these outpourings of rich mirth.
Just after I heard all of my colleagues are now rich I decided to check and see exactly how much money I have out in student loans. Then tromped to the student loan office to take out more loans, thinking the whole time how I am not a lucky Canadian.
And here is the afternoon/evening portion:
Today was the big party for the after school group I co-teach with a friend of mine. The dirt cake was for them. The kids gobbled up the cake and I sincerely wondered if it was not fully cooked, it was (there is no better way to put it) extra moist. Later, I asked my mother, "Hypothetically, what would happen if you gave a bunch of kids cake that wasn't cooked all the way?" After a minute of deliberation and description it was concluded that I had simply put a tad too much oil in it and it was probably not going to kill anyone.
After I ate cake and pizza with the kids and collected hugs and a card that they had made that depicted a sea monster wearing a pearl necklace I went out with my newly rich peers. In an effort to settle an argument my friend and I had last week I suggested we talk it out. Turns out this led to me crying in the bathroom and her telling me that she understands how I am overwhelmed and trying not to be negative. This did not help, at all. The best part though was when we went back to the table of our ten friends and they all looked at me like they had just seen me do meth at the table and then tried to be cool with it. I wound up leaving and calling my friend on the bus ride home and she told me that I was not psychotic.
I just watched something on CBC NEWS that is about the death of malls. One guy described the people who work at malls as, "A bunch of little people keeping the dream alive." They showed a herd of elderly people walking about an abandoned mall. They even had a shot of a guy who is mourning the loss of his local mall by sitting inside it and writing a eulogy. The best part though is that to save the malls there is a developer making a new mall that is environmentally friendly. The only shots they actually show of the mall and the developer are the following: giant bulldozers taking down trees and the developer holding a gun making sure to note that it could kill an elephant.
Tip of the Day: If you leave your Journey playing while you shower be prepared that over the water sounds you will hear something that is akin to a woman screaming.
-Canadian Castaway
No comments:
Post a Comment