Day 251
This afternoon I joined a friend of mine, his boyfriend, and our mutual friend for lunch. (sorry, long boring 1st sentence intro) The boyfriend of my friend had just started his new job doing some sort of computer stuff for the Math department. Most of our lunch was spent listening to him kvetch about how the Math department was going to make him go to a ridiculous meeting in the afternoon and how he didn't have an office and then he got an office that he shares with some guy who doesn't speak English, and that him and some co-workers raided another co-workers office and stole a computer and a phone, and about how he is too afraid to go to the end of the hallway where his sort-of office is located because it is dark and filled with crap. We listened and listened and when he finally took a breath, I turned to another person in the group and asked, "Is the bread of your sandwich dry? Mine is," and I took another bite. I still can't figure out if that was rude or not.
Today I dragged my friend across campus on a quest to go to my favorite on-campus coffeeshop. When we finally arrived we sort of decided that we were going to do work. He pulled out his laptop and I pulled out a copy of the 1988 book I am reading on writing for television and then it began--the gossip. We chatted for hours about our peers in the writing program. Most of our sentences started with, "Oh yeah, I heard that..." After an hour or so my friend put away his laptop and he said. "I guess we aren't going to get any work done here today." I agreed at the time, but now I look back on it and think: I guess if you consider gossiping about your peers work then we worked a ton. It's all perspective, baby.
After I had my afternoon gossip whore session, I walked home to see the mysteriously illusive chef standing in the lawn, staring at the bushes. Not only have I never seen the chef in real life, I only know him in email incarnations as a name, he was walking around like someone doing TaiChi on crack. The only reason I knew it was him was because his name was embroidered on his chef jacket. I saddled up to him, and he pointed to the bushes and said, "Skunk." I looked to see a flourish of black disappear into a shrubbery dangerously near my window (okay it was like 50 yards away, but still). Then he said, "It's really beautiful," and walked away. I stood there, frozen, remembering the time that those fucking Hormann kids got sprayed by a skunk and got on the school bus. I tiptoed to my room, I didn't want people to start hating me and never forget me because I was the girl who got sprayed by a skunk.
When I got back to my room I decided to email the listserve for my rez to ask if anyone had any idea what sort of external hard drive I should get for my computer. I am not entirely sure what an external hard drive is, but I know that I can store tons of shit on it, like tv shows. After I sent the email I realized that I should've been sending an email about the skunk roaming around in the courtyard, not only could it have turned people into Hormann kid memories, it could potentially have rabies as it was out in the daylight. But, then I checked my facebook and forgot.
Yahoo.ca news never seems to disappoint me. Translation: Those clowns at yahoo.ca news can always seem to foster up an emotional reaction from me on the ridiculous news they post. Sometimes I will laugh or be so annoyed that I write bitchy blog posts, or just be stunned at the audacity of what they consider news. But today's selection about 2 square meter apartments in Beijing had me doing all these emotions at once. At first it was funny to imagine what a 35 buck a month apartment looked like. Then, I was annoyed that yahoo.ca intrigued me enough to click into another newsy link. Then I was shocked at the audacity that these actually exist and this guy who owns them is all talking about how they can change the world when he is probably just a profiteer. But, even more amazingly I was stung with depression as the interviews went on to say that it was mostly unemployed college grads living there. Is that what I have to look forward to? Shit. Yahoo.ca news, you win the emotional battle once again, you fucker.
I wasn't hungry at supper tonight until I tried the carrots. For nearly all of the 251 days I have lived in this residence hall I have eaten carrot sticks. By that I mean that I eat a couple of them with every meal. For some reason today was different, I ate like 15 carrot sticks and still wanted more. Now I am worried about tomorrow, what if I am still obsessed? I am going to have to eat carrots off of my friends plates. After a day or two of this they may start to notice and then I will have to enlist them into procuring me extra carrots. And finally, someday I will have to work in the kitchen to satiate my need for dining hall carrot sticks, until one day they will throw out my orange-colored self for stealing carrots and I will have to go through extreme carrot stick withdrawals and write a book about it. Oh well.
This evening I was going to work on my tv series, but wound up watching Garry Marshall (creator of Happy Days and writer for tons 'o tv) on youtube. Turns out the interview I was watching was in six parts, and it turns out that the six parts were each nearly 30 minutes long. After watching a few parts, it turns out that not only is Garry Marshall hilarious, but I sort of wish I was him. I think that's enough super long interviews for me. The last time I watched prolonged interviews was when I watched a youtube interview series on J.K. Rowling, and I then wished I was her. Maybe I need to give a super long interview, get it posted on youtube, and watch myself so that I want to become me.
Tip of the Day: Sometimes in life you will end up with 13 different kinds of tea in your cupboard when all you really want is black coffee.
-Canadian Castaway
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