Day 245
There is nothing like sleeping in and waking up to a quasi-beautiful day and turning on your computer to discover an email from your boss that reads, "Where are you???????????" I called her up and told her that my shift began at 2. She said, "Nooo, you were supposed to be here at 9:30." I looked at my clock, it read, 11:30. Quickly, I cracked a joke and made her laugh and promised I'd be there in 15 minutes. When I arrived she laughed when I said, "Good morning--I mean, I guess it's not morning anymore." She even said, "You were saying you wanted shorter shifts."
An hour later, she informed me that she is going to resign this Thursday. That explained her lackluster approach to me being over 2 hours late to work. But the explanation for the reason she is going to resign was far more interesting than her forgiveness of me. She told me that she went to some old Chinese guy she knows and he threw some stones and read them (something to do with I-Ching) and he told her that she must either quit or she will be fired. So, she's decided to quit. I wonder what other important life decisions she's left up to this guy. I wonder if this guy inspires others in what to do with themselves. I wonder if there have been heart throb movie stars that went to him and asked if they should pursue acting and he told them that they must either be janitors or used car salesmen.
This afternoon I went to an Asian mall. The purpose of going to the Asian mall was to go to a giant Japanese dollarstore. Little did we know that this dollarstore would involve 2 floors of junk where everything cost at least 2 dollars, and pushing Asian people. Here is a few of the things that we found:
Winnie the Pooh-patterned Q-tips
A puppy-head purse with a curious stain on its forehead.
A notebook that has 3 cute mice on it and reads, "Merry Afternoon Three Mischievous Rats."
pre-opened lipsticks
A wall of keychains and cellphone danglers. (Note: This area was inaccessible due to a hoard of Japanese people crowding into it)
A wall of garbage cans with patterns on them
A wall of lacy, giant women's underwear.
A million glowsticks, including ones that could be put into a headband and be glow-in-the dark Mickey Mouse ears.
And finally, surgical masks with cartoon mouths on them where they would cover your actual mouth.
This evening I applied for a job at an organic grocery store. This is hilarious as I know very little and care very little about organic foods and I am pretty sure if the people at this store found out that I didn't celebrate Earth Day or turn out my lights when I leave my room I wouldn't get the job.
Tonight my friend in the writing program informed me, via facebook chat, that someone had written a facebook note (whatever the fuck that is) about the other night when a few writers were hanging out. This note said that the writers had been gossiping "negatively" about someone else in the writing program. Apparently, after awhile of bashing this unnamed person, a quiet writer was asked what he thought of the situation. His response: "I don't like to talk about people behind their backs." This scenario was detailed in the note and the writer of the note went on a tirade about how we shouldn't gossip and speak bad things. Hello! We are in a writing program, this is what we do. If we didn't spread scandal and lies and hate we would be boring, therefore we wouldn't be writers, we'd be accountants. Besides, what the hell else are we supposed to talk about? Anyway, my friend and I spent all night chatting about how ridiculous this person who wrote the note was and we gossiped about other people and tried to find out who they were belittling in the first place and asking others on chat and thus, gossiping more.
I worked a half an hour on my second job today. This job is where myself and a few others move around furniture in the college to set up for events in my residence hall. Tomorrow's event needed 75 chairs. I noticed two things when we were setting up tonight. 1. When someone comes into the room and asks what we are doing, and looks like they want to help, I should get to them first and accept their help. And, 2. The chairs that we use for events are the same chairs as we have in the dining hall area, and they are covered in stains. I asked my fellow set-up crew member if they had ever been cleaned. "Never," was her answer. "And, they only get thrown out if they are broken." I am wondering if it is my duty to break a few chairs?
I have spent the last hour or so watching people exercise on youtube videos. Actual exercise time I have spent exercising: 2 minutes. I even got a lecture on how you cannot just lose belly fat and that people are shaped either as apples or pears. I am not sure how any of this has been helpful. But, my favorite video was the one with the old guy telling the viewer that when first starting out in running you should do it every other day. Then he said, "Say if you start on a Monday, then Tuesday is an off day, and then Wednesday you run, and then Thursday is an off day, and then Friday you run, and then Saturday is an off day, so then Sunday you run." If you don't know what running every other day means then maybe your first concern in life shouldn't be acquiring a running habit, it should be getting some aid with your idiocy.
Tip of the Day: Spending 29 bucks at a Japanese dollarstore is sort of unacceptable.
-Canadian Castaway
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