It's 4 am, again...

Day 242

Around lunchtime today my friends showed up with two bags and a case of beer. In the bags were food items like generic Kraft Singles, hot dogs, marshmallows, and brownies. They came to drink and grill. Turns out grill operation is something way beyond my capacity of existence. Luckily, I knocked on the door of the right man for the job. He came and saved the day and we got ate beyond our fill. This was all wonderful, marshmallows were even toasted, but little did I know that it would mean that I would get two buzzed people with full bellies nearly falling asleep on my couch and chair at 4 pm.

I am wide awake and it is 4 am. It could be the fact that I drank a vodka-infused can of Rockstar this evening. Yeah that's right, I totally bought the can of it for 3 bucks, the one with the cool labeling that looks like it could be the design on Avril Lavigne's tour bus. At the party I attended this evening everyone else bought fancy, grown up red wines and inquired what my drink of choice was, the only person I felt truly comfortable with was the girl who brought Smirnoff Ice. I told her that I thought it was cool she brought Smirnoff Ice and someone said, "It's like so high school." The girl replied, "I like it." We were good friends the rest of the night with our losery beverages.

Other things that happened at the somewhat snobby gathering:

There were mountains of books people could take home. Every Canadian in the room tried to force the Alice Munro on me, but I wound up with a thick Joyce Carol Oates and an H.G. Wells book called, "The Passionate Friends."

A neverending discussion took place about The Neverending Story. This led to someone pulling out an I-Phone to play the theme song for me, despite my disinterest in talking at length about a horny luck dragon that nobody in that room, except me, found creepy.

There was a conversation that I began as soon as one of my Canadian friends started extolling the virtues of Friends. It really astounds me that nearly everyone I have met outside of the U.S. references and holds this show as some sort of pinnacle of entertainment. It wasn't even really funny. I asked my American friend from Florida why that is, and she said that it's popular in the U.S. but it is only popular on the coasts. She said that because I come from the heartland, we don't put up with that unfunny TV. I think this was a compliment.

And, finally there was a futon which people were sitting on that collapsed. The best part of this was that the super pretty, proper-looking wife of one of my fellow writers laughed the hardest and went on at great length about how funny it was that someone had a misfortunate occurrence, and she loved laughing at misfortunate occurrences.

After the party I met up with a few friends at a bar. I spoke with the bartender about how cheap some of their daily specials were. He said, "Yeah, tomorrow's gonna be busy." I made a remark about how cheap the beer was on Sundays. He gave me an odd look, and then explained that he was talking about the hockey game. But, he said it like I was an idiot for not knowing there was a hockey game going on tomorrow night. It is true about Canadians and their hockey.

But, my favorite part of the evening was when I was riding the bus home. At nearly 2 am the bus is quite crowded, but when I get an aisle seat, I don't usually get hit, repeatedly with the girl standing in the aisle's purse. Now, I don't mean that she hauled off and smacked me. It was much more boring than that. She just didn't seem to realize that the thing that her purse kept brushing up upon was me. Who does that? Seriously. I felt like she was the cheerleader and I was the nerdy girl she walked all over to get the answers to the math quiz. Bitch, don't you know the nerds always win!

Tip of the Day: Skip the Rockstar, it won't do you any good, besides you are more of a Monster person anyhow.

-Canadian Castaway