Disasters and Triumphs

Day 217

So it has been a day of disasters and small triumphs. Here are a sampling of both:

Disasters:

Somehow I injured my uvula. "What?" Asked one of my friends, "Isn't that in your crotch?" No. Your uvula is the hangy ball in the back of your mouth. If you try to hawk a piece of apple out of the area between your mouth and throat, apparently you can injure your uvula so bad that it feels like nails are scraping the back of your throat and your voice sounds like Tom Waits. I guess that's karma, as the apple was lodged in that weird spot because I was laughing at someone else's expense. Damn it karma, quit taking away my fun.

This morning, before I had any coffee, I got a call. I answered.

"Hello?"
"Hello? Is this Emily."
"Umm, yes, who's this?"
"This is (name I didn't catch) from the post office. How are you?"
"Ok-ay?"
"Did I catch you at a bad time?"
"Umm, no."
"Great, well I was just calling to see when you want to set up and interview."
"A what?"
"An interview for the job you applied for--are you sure this isn't a bad time?"
"No, not at all," I said. I giggled, and she giggled.
Then we both giggled for quite sometime and I said something like, "I need coffee." And, she laughed and laughed. Then she was half-spelling her name to me and we set up an interview for 10:30 tomorrow. I hung up and it finally hit me: that posting that just read "Sales Clerk" in the Student Union Building was for the post office. After that realization came the realization that me and a strange woman laughed for 5 full minutes without really knowing what we were laughing about.

I have an unidentifiable, possible insect bite or infection on my arm. Spending an hour looking at other people's insect bites online was not healthy nor helpful. It may give me nightmares, but at least I can take comfort in the fact that my wound doesn't look quite so disgusting.

My friend got two free movie passes for tonight. I tagged along and brought a friend. I don't think he appreciated the friend as he thought we were on a date. Perhaps he may have also gotten angry when I made my friend sit between us. But, I made an effort to talk to him, afterall he is my friend too. I thanked him for getting me in for free and his response was, "Oh well, you were laid off, so I am just trying to help out." I am sure I was supposed to be touched by this, but I really just wanted to punch his nose in. Seriously, am I destitute already? Geez, I am glad my friend sat between us.

Watching The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus when you are already feeling psychotic doesn't much help the fact that you feel completely dysfunctional. Also, not really understanding or hearing what the hell was going on just makes you feel stupid.

Triumphs:

I gave all the high school kids I teach gum. This is a sin. And now I am super popular. Who said I was above bribery?

I discovered the joy of bacon on pizza. Not that shitty Canadian bacon, which by the way, I think Canadians call, "back bacon" but the real stuff, crumbed up and covering a slice of cheesy hour old pizza. Oh "loy" (friend trying to combine love and joy came up with that tonight)

If anything else I can be proud of the fact that I spell things correctly when I update my status on facebook. Now, don't get me wrong, if your first language isn't English, I am not gonna hate on you but if you grew up in America and received honor roll grades in high school you should know the difference between, "than" and "then" and know that "itself" is a word. But, I will say the friend who spelled "gym" as "jym" is my favorite so far.

In The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus three out of the four Tony's were hot. Jude Law was there to serve the purpose of making all of the others look hotter. But damnit Heath, why'd you have to leave us? But, on the other hand, we will never have to see him age and sag and wrinkle. But, what if he turned out to be that ageless George Clooney hot?

Today I came home to a giant bag of candy in front of my door. I found out later that my friends chipped in and bought it for me to cheer me up from losing my job. I was so touched I wanted to go out and lose other jobs, but I don't think the candy would keep coming. But, make the candy Cadbury eggs and Conversation Hearts and I'd give it a shot.

Tip of the Day: "Remember you are awesome."

-Canadian Castaway